So, there we were at the world's worst service station, Rivington on the M61. We were on our way back from Blackburn Rovers v Wigan and alongside us in his BMW X6, a ludicrous car, is Morten Gamst Pedersen. Pic here.
It was a great opportunity to tell him just what we'd been talking about in the car a few minutes earlier.
Pedersen, you are a lightweight fancy dan in a muscular team of hoofers. At best you'd see a role as a midfield sweeper upper, picking up a loose ball and playing a neat short pass to one of the Dioufs. But you don't even do that well. Your long balls are too long, you can't tackle, you're not brave and you pull out of challenges. Wigan scored a goal that was ruled out. It should have counted and it was your fault. You lost the ball in the middle of the park, which led to the free kick, which led to their goal. You should have scored a headed goal as well. But the keeper saved it. Head it down, man, not up. What do you do in training, because you never get any better?
And then you scored a screamer. A free kick that caused mayhem that floated in at the back post. Did you mean it?
Do you really think we said any of that to him. A middle aged man with his 11 year old son? Articulate in private, mildly star struck in person. No, of course we didn't. We didn't say anything in fact. MGP seemed happy. But then you would wouldn't you?
And one of the reasons is there's this very amusing advert for fruit. This enigma is a superstar in Norway, he gets to do adverts for fruit. What's that all about?
Here's his own blog here. Where, in his words, "we played a shit first half".