He's dancing to the words

There's a snappy piece here on the average word count of a song. Kevin Roberts reports that "during the sixties and seventies was 176 words. Last year it exploded to 436 words. Do we really have so much more to say?"

Partly, the average is pushed up by the proliferation of rap, but also by the power of major recording artists to let rip without interference.

Since I started guitar lessons I've been much more tuned in to riffs and chords than just the words, which obviously is still raw with me as I remember Terry Christian's verdict on this.

Public vote will kill C-charge - ten thoughts as to why

The announcement yesterday that the Greater Manchester authorities backed Trafford Council's call for a referendum will probably sound the death knell for the controversial deal to unlock money for tram extensions and bus lanes in return for a congestion charge. The poll will require 7 of the 10 council areas to back the plan, and that's a tall order. Our calculations reckon only Oldham and Tameside will come close to voting for it, because they reckon they'll get a tram system out of it. The rest will give it a big no. Ten thoughts on it are below:

1. Stockport, where the good people of Marple will be casting their vote, will deliver a crushing no to the plan - because there is so little in it for them. The outer charging ring cuts through Stockport and will affect school runs, tradesmen, commuters from one part of Stockport to another.
2. The plans outlined in the GMPTE "consultation brochure" that every house has recieved, aren't well put. Anyone with local knowledge will already have torn great holes in what's on offer. It also reads like glib propaganda that treats the public like fools.
3. Local knowledge trumps all, and I've heard similar complaints on phone-ins and message boards (I know, nutters, but local nutters) from angry of Leigh, Gatley, Lostock and, yes, Marple. You drill into what's been bashed together in an office in Manchester and you ask where there's supposed to be an extension to the park and ride at Romiley? There's no land to do it. Again, there will be CCTV at Rose Hill. How much will that cost? Buttons. Surely that's out of operational budgets anyway. There is nothing in the current plan about better services.
4. There's supposed to be a planned interchange at Stockport - again, where? That can only reduce parking spaces, and Stockport station car park is very crowded as it is. Crowded, by the way, with park and riders - going to London on business, mostly.
5. There will be bigger and longer trains on the Marple line. How? The train companies control the size and type of trains and they don't invest anything like enough in rolling stock. The Department of Transport have said they will fund this, so why is it parcelled into the TIF bid? And even if they did, the delivery schedules are way off. This is not currently within the brief of GMPTE, so how can they claim they can deliver it as part of TIF?
6. You look at the TIF map that tries to look like a London tube map and there are big thick green lines heading out to Bolton and Leigh. These are for bus lanes. The people of Bolton and Wigan will not vote for a congestion charge to get into Manchester if all they are getting is a bus lane.
7. TIF is supposed to address congestion where it occurs. It doesn't. The people of Stockport and parts of Tameside do experience congestion, but these are on roads that will be outside of the outer ring - the A6 from Hazel Grove through to Stockport, the M57, the A34 at Gatley.
8. A peak time congestion charge will raise the money to fund the transport plans. It is predicated on a deal. At a time when trust in government is at such a low ebb, when this government has reneged on investment in the regions so often, why should the voters here trust in another deal.
   
9. People also think, there is a congestion charge, it's called fuel at £1.30 a litre. They plan their journeys differently.
10. And do you know what? Part of me really wants to support this. I really applaud the bravery of a city region authority that wants better trains and trams so badly it is prepared to bet everything on a complex and forward looking plan. I do think too that congestion charging will become a reality in most British cities and that Manchester, by getting in early, WON'T lose a competitive advantage by introducing one now. But these nit picky details I've outlined here reflect what individual people will be doing all over Greater Manchester, and for that reason they will vote no. And when the gravestone is erected over these plans the inscription will read: "we promised them bus lanes to Bolton".
    

In an urban scrotey garden

It was nice to see that Rice in Piccadilly Gardens was busy today. Less pleasant is the ever present aggressive blight on Manchester that is the scrote. Three of them occupied an outside table at the front, yet didn't buy anything from the cafe they occupied. As they compared snide Timberland and Lacoste hoodies and drank pound shop cola, whilst smoking and playing horrible music on their mobile phones, the manager had a word with them pointing out that they were putting off his customers. But they didn't move, they just glared at him and continued to leer at passers by.

The prawn pad thai was very good though.

In an English Country Garden

Went to Tatton on Tuesday night for a very pleasant tour and a RHS President's Dinner just before the Flower Show opened the next day. I don't think I have ever been in a room with so many posh people before. The table plan for about 120 people included at least 20 double-barrels, 10 Lords and Ladies, four retired senior military officers (including a General) and several very posh de Montfords and the like. And Bryan Gray.

My Rachel and Becky Dewhirst were the youngest there. And as early 40 somethings me and my pal Simon Edwards (our host) can't have been far behind. Still, this isn't a complaint, but an observation. We had a great night. The gardens are fantastic this year, they all seem very practical and sustainable, the kind of gardens you could be inspired to do in your own back yard.

Three years ago Insider hosted a business breakfast at the event and we were committed to a long term plan to work with the RHS to encourage corporate hospitality at the show. We were bumped off as a partner, and it gives me no satisfaction whatsoever to say that the show still has no discernable presence on the corporate calendar. Hey ho.

Out at sea

The Midland Hotel at Morecambe gets some scrutiny from Phil Griffin.

A flavour is here:

The Urban Splash Midland Hotel might have felt more appropriate in the centre of a city. Five metres from the beach, it feels out at sea. If ever a building would have welcomed well chosen expensive period classic furniture and even the odd well placed 20th century antique, it is Oliver Hill’s Midland Hotel Morecambe. Walk through the ill-fitting front door – that must surely be a temporary measure – and see if you can find an atmosphere to drink in.

The full link is here.

I'm clearly more easily impressed by it than Phil, but then he makes his living from caring about such things.

A good year for the roses

Over the last week in the national media, I've seen things about four people I knew reasonably well at Manchester University in the late 1980s. It was an extraordinary time and there have been loads of people who've done well for themselves. I thought it could kick off a decent list of famous ish people from our era, starting with the ones in the news, but I've only included people I knew quite well, as opposed to me being some kind of creepy stalker with access to the alumni book.

- Derek Draper has been drawn back into the Labour Party spin machine.

- Ben Gale has been made controller of Channel 5 and he was in the Guardian's Media 100.

- Tracy Oberman has been on Radio 4 talking about a new play.

- Ian King, business editor of The Sun, was on a doc about Northern Rock. A man doing a job he was always destined for.

You can then add the following old pals who are on the telly all the time:

- Shobi Gulati actress and activist. I can't believe the papers never picked up on the fact that her and Tracy knew each other at Manchester and were leading women in rival soaps for a few years. Maybe they did.

- BBC news presenter Sophie Raworth.

Then there are a few musical bods as well.

- Pete Heller, who my pal Andrew McIntyre maintains got him into house music amidst much resistance and pro-hip hop posturing. Another dance music guru is...

- Justin Robertson, when I first saw him after we'd left, working in Eastern Bloc records with a degree in something clever I thought what a waste, but the boy has done good.

- Louise Wener, who we used to call Pat Benatar even then, as she would breeze into a Sociology of Literature, Art and Music tutorial in a fog of leopard print, lipstick and henna.

All that said, there are four lads I shared a house with who are all masters of their own particular universes, but that's a different story.

Nathan Bateman goes to Glastonbury...and Cannes

John Niven's Kill Your Friends is a hilarious, withering and thoroughly cynical portrait of the 90s music business and a rattling good read. It has some brilliantly well-observed anecdotes that provide a raucous backdrop for a story of depravity and ambition. John Niven, who used to work in the industry, has created a totally foul character, the morally barren Steven Stelfox, who swims with the sharks of the A and R world. Stelfox's awfulness owes more than a nod in the direction of Charlie Brooker's grotesque Nathan Barley (from TV Go Home), even using some of the same phrases (startling payload), and the darkly sadistic scenes are right out of American Psycho. But it's a rattling read. I really liked the references to rubbish bands and the soliloquy on how the music business works for newly signed bands. It's also fun trying to work out who is really who - the council estate Spice Girls (Saints Aloud), the angry rapper Rage (Goldie?). Not much difference either between MIDEM and the gigs in Cannes I've been to - MIPCOM and MIPIM. I couldn't put it down, very funny and one for Roger Cashman.

Redemption Song - reviewed in a lift

A posthumous biography of the Clash front man Joe Strummer (after whom my eldest is named, sort of) is detailed and passionate, but says very little about the actual music. The human tragedy running through the whole story is that of the relationship between Strummer and Mick Jones. They're like a couple that got married too young, had a wild few years, split up, but never fell out of love for one another. If you care about the The Clash, and if you get to the end of this long book, then you must do, then the tale at the very end about how Mick and Joe finally appeared on stage together, will bring a lump to your throat. When you read that it was five weeks before Joe's death, there'll be tears in your eyes.

Cover version update: Joe Strummer and Johnny Cash did Bob Marley's Redemption song. You can't get it on iTunes, but there's a clip on You Tube, here.

Conservatives, motherhood and apple pie

There's an interview with David Cameron in the Graun today. It's easy to see how he's got this incredible momentum, but all he's actually peddling is positive sentiment. Gordon Brown, meanwhile, is displaying political and managerial incompetence, and negativity.

Take anything Cameron says and attempt to argue the opposite point of view. There isn't one.

Absent Dad's shouldn't be involved in bringing up kids.
You shouldn't recycle domestic waste.
Standards in schools should be worse.
Foreign criminals should be allowed to stay here.
Business should be ensnared in red tape.

I could go on. Basically, Labour have given up. The problems of crime, waste, hopelessness and poverty are the same. But they have no passion, no energy and no idea what to do. They meddle. The Tories are up for it. But that's pretty much the only difference.

I got my first real six string

And last night I had my first guitar lesson at Riffs in Chadkirk, which were both fantastic birthday presents from Rachel. I have a long way to go, but I genuinely want to learn something new every year. I've never had any musical tutoring and it probably showed. I am probably completely tuneless as well - as Terry Christian said when I did the Y Factor last year, when he was a judge - "look at him. He's dancing to the words."

I promise to update.

Cover versions - top ten

Blimey, I've never been hassled into doing something on this blog by readers, but two of you have given me a nudge about getting round to doing the top ten cover versions I thought about a couple of weeks ago.

I was tempted to include a couple of Oasis songs which are more derivatives - Shakermaker and Don't Look Back in Anger - and chose not to include Neil Diamond written songs because you get into that grey area about whether it's a song written FOR the writer or for others to perform. By the same token, one of my favourites from the Bruce Springsteen concert was Because The Night, which I first knew as a Patti Smith song, but it's not strictly a cover as they co-wrote it. I've also gone for songs that meet two essential criteria, they sound great irrespective of their origin, and the original was great too.

Here goes, in reverse order:

Valerie - Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse step up the Zutons
Where the Street Have No Name - Pet Shop Boys camp up U2
Always on my Mind - Pet Shop Boys then do the same to Elvis
Temptation - Moby strips back New Order
I Fought the Law - Clash squat a Bobby Fuller classic and make it their own anthem
Knockin' on Heavens Door - Guns N Roses power up Dylan
Could it be Magic - Take That double the BPM on Barry Manilow
Man who Sold the World - Nirvana unplugged and upstage David Bowie
One - Johnny Cash makes this U2 tune actually sound sincere

And the greatest cover ever is this:

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley performs the perfect song, as originally performed and written by Leonard Cohen.

Five simple rules to be happy

Thanks to Natalia Escola-Fogg for this:

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, shaved and with his hair fashionably coifed, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he manoeuvred his walker to the elevator, the nurse provided a visual description of his tiny room. 'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'

'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.

'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from it what you've put in.

So, deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my memory bank. I am still depositing. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Where did the weekend go?

I've been doing this all weekend, and am worn out. My role was running the score tent and filling in results on white boards. The whole event was a great success for Marple Athletic JFC and a terrific weekend for Marple.

The Italian Job

I know naff all about cars, but the new Fiat Cinquecento has caught my eye. Matt's godparents popped in last night and they've just got one.

I always thought Fiat have been one of the few Italian brands to be devoid of Italian style, just becoming yet another bog standard car model with no point. The Fiat people carrier we hired last year was just the same as our Citroen C8.

This new retro runabout looks very stylish. Whether it drives well I don't know, but you can get a lot further on a full tank than you can in my MLCC.

There's a functional review here and a more colourful one here, an endorsement of sorts from everybody's favourite school bully.

A Question of Thought

Rachel has a stopwatch set whenever BBC's Question Time starts on Thursday nights. It is usually a matter of minutes before I shout "muppet" or "idiot" or worse at the screen. Last night it two minutes into the programme before I was grumping at Lib Dem MP Julia Goldsworthy who wriggled around like an imbecile, getting all giddy at the chance to make cheap political points. She failed to make a single coherant and genuine argument all night, and was outshone by the schoolboy next to her.

It's also a fact that there's always a guest that comes across better than you ever remember them. Last night it was Iain Duncan Smith, the quiet man, who I always remember by his initials - In Deep Sh*t. IDS was very good on QT, but then he always is. The most disastrous leader the Tories have ever had is a man who has found his place. Never a party leader, his work on the broken society and poverty is clear headed and wise. I genuinely can't remember a single thing Douglas Alexander said, but then he's one of the young Labour gimps keeping his head down at the moment.

Saira Khan, the token celebrity, managed to make middle of the road opinions seem hysterical and witless. There's this from Holy Moly, which sums her up.

She also made the ludicrous claim that all black characters in TV dramas are gangsters and rapists. Off the top of my head I thought of him, him and him. If there is a black male stereotype on TV it's of a wholesome but neurotic outsider with a slightly posh accent. Idiot.

The Wilkinson theory

Someone I know - who I won't name - has a theory that the larger the Wilkinson's store in a location, the rougher the area. This has obviously been torn in tatters now that Hyde boasts a 10,000 sq ft shop which Ricky Hatton opened yesterday. Here's the story from the MEN.

Dead rock stars

Thanks to my Mum for getting me a subscription the Word magazine for my birthday. The current cover story features 12 dead rocks stars, yet another subjective list that is as enthralling for all it excludes as much as the content within. I've heard of most of them and would applaud the choices - Ian Curtis, Freddie Mercury, George Harrison, Joe Strummer and Johnny Cash - but not all.

Not included were many obvious candidates, including Kurt Cobain. I watched the Nirvana Unplugged concert on telly on Friday night. Their version of David Bowie's The Man Who Sold The World is going to be in the list of ten best cover versions I may get round to doing this week. But the watching the whole video is a very unsettling experience. Cobain is haunted and spaced out and staring into the distance. The performance is faultless, but it is doing nothing for him. Five months later he was dead. I don't think he's any kind of hero at all, but he made great music.

Hope for the best

Barely a month since the Midland Hotel at Morecambe opened for business, the sniping has started. I knew it would, Lancaster and Morecambe people can be very cynical. Some of the criticism is fair. Urban Splash are new to hotels and the fine ambition of hiring young kids with no experience has been haphazard. Plenty have been sacked, apparently. Including four bar lads who took customer service to a new level after the RIBA event in June, much to the annoyance of the husband of one randy female guest.

I'm here at the Midland for the official relaunch, almost 75 years since the original launch in July 1933. It's been a lovely night, with tales of daring do and bravery - and excellent service from the team at the hotel as well. I was lucky enough to be sat with Jon Falkingham from Urban Splash, Geraldine Smith, the Labour MP for Morecambe and David Taylor - a man who knows a thing or two about urban renewal as the chairman of Hull Citybuild and a big hitter in these parts too.

Our table was missing two guests; Councillor Evelyn Archer and her husband, who didn't show. She's quoted in the Morecambe Visitor as being against plans for the next phase of the development of Morecambe's central promenade, despite two years of consultation and an open competition. She's reported as supporting comments by Wayne Hemingway, who's plans failed in a blind competition, and who described the plans as like "selling the crown jewels". I think the tragedy here is that the outcry is all too late and aimed in the wrong direction. Where were they when someone decided to turn the train station into a pub and stop the track 400 yards further back, or when the Morrisons and Burger King (now boarded up) became the main attractions? Morecambe prom has a retail parade where Hitchens is the most upmarket shop. There is no view obscured by the plans for "a bit of resi" in the vacant plot that is now on central promenade. The plans may need a lot more public sector backing, but it would be investment, not subsidy and everyone in Morecambe should support it.

Urban Splash don't want to have to do everything in Morecambe. I, for one, reiterated my ambition to open Mick's Grill, purveyors of quality Lancashire Nosh. And I, like everyone else at the party tonight, equally look forward to supporting Hemingway's own hotel project.

Kids who don't listen

I often tease the kids about how little they tell me about what they're thinking and doing. Forgetting of course that I never used to tell my parents anything, nor would I even feign interest in what they did, or what they told me. Yesterday this hit me like a train. My Dad was telling me a story about when him and his Dad went down to White Hart Lane to see Spurs against Benfica in 1962 in the European Cup semi final, how they went with Grandad's friend Ted Smith, the landlord of a pub in Skerton, Lancaster, who used to manage Benfica from 1948 to 1952.

*screech of brakes*

Er, rewind please. How come I've never heard any of this before? A namedropper like me? My Dad used to make real efforts to take me to European games at Anfield and Wrexham, when I was about 11 and upwards - we were never going to see European football at Ewood, were we? - in so doing, he must have told me the details of that story many times before, but I won't have listened. Sure, I took in the detail that he'd only been to London once, but nothing about the magic of European nights. They even met the Benfica team and the captain Aguas, who Ted had brought over from Angola, and who hugged him like a son in the reception of the Park Lane Hotel.

I've been hunting down some information about Ted Smith, who must have been a pioneer and an adventurer to have done what he did, coaching the best club side in Europe at the time, winning the Latin Cup, before the European Cup was launched. This is our history and it's right in front of us. Blink, and you miss it.

Friends like these

I note from Toby Young's column in the Spectator this week that his best mate Sean Langan has been freed from kidnappers in Taleban controlled Pakistan. His thoughtful and measured column about it is here. It's clearly been difficult for him to keep quiet about, but he has.

Cow economics

I first came across the cow economics about 8 years ago. There's a thing on Wikipedia about it here. Here are some with a few more we've invented. Ten in fact, it is Friday...

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CITY OF LONDON CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to a new shell company listed on the Alternative Investment Market, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a bank on the Isle of Man, then execute a debt / equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows and transferring the ownership of the initial equity to a children’s charity. You get a CBE for services to sick kiddies. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who takes out a securitised debt package on the rights to all seven cows' milk and sells them back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because they crapped on your Maserati.

PRIVATE EQUITY CAPITALISM: You’ve bought two cows. Take out a massive structured debt package calculated on ten times the amount of milk they can ever possibly produce in a lifetime. Then hack one cow to bits. Sell off the milk, the meat, the bones, the blood. Squeeze as much milk as you can from the other one, then sell it to one of your mates for twice what you paid for the pair. Pay off the bank. Go skiing.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

GORDON BROWN ECONOMICS: You have two cows. The government introduces a new "straw tax" calculated on how much straw the cows eat. When the price of straw becomes too high and the cows can't produce any more milk, a new tax on unused cows is introduced. You give up and try to sell the cows, but the new tax on buying second hand cows means it's not worth it and there's no market. The government launches a task force into cow development.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything. The cows then get flu and the government burns them.

EUROPEAN BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Lost in music

I've become spooked by the random shuffle function on my iPod. This week it has played two Prefab Sprout album tracks consecutively from the timeless classic Swoon. It has also managed to play The Message by Grandmaster Flash, just after Overpowered by Funk by The Clash, which both have references to Futura 2000 a New York grafitti artist. I'm getting quite giddy about what it might throw up for the journey home. It is a glorious way to rediscover music.

Book review in a lift - Jim White

Yes, there is still a football embargo on this blog, this month, but this book is not about football, it's about being a father to a son. It is a vivid and often shockingly real account of Jim White's time running a junior football team. I see so many of the grotesque stereotypes that he writes about at the tournaments and matches I go to. Not to mention the committee politics. It's a warm and happy book with some great stories and anecdotes from the author's chats with various managers and coaches and some lovely bits about his own moments with his son. But one very important line in the book stands out. It is the question that defines kids' football at every level. Through every coaching session, every committee meeting, every dispute about the links on the website. It is the question that should be asked by every manager who leaves a kid as an unused sub, and every parent who screams at a referee. And the question is this: "Who is it for?"

Straight Outta Compstall

The wonders of my new iPod and in-car device and the nice weather meant I had some fine tunes playing on the way in to work today and had the top down on the MLCC. I like the nice surprises that random shuffle throws up when I've stuck so much music on there. Like this, this and even a camp classic like this. Trouble is, as I pulled up next to a bus on London Road it was blaring out this. I must have looked a right tw*t. Whitey in his suit trying to get down wiv the bruvvas.

Ryan Giggs and me

I went to a business lunch at the Lowry Hotel today. I had to nip out half way through, and took a wrong turn into the other half of the banqueting room. I interrupted Ryan Giggs having his photo taken. There's no particular moral to this story, it was just a strange thing to happen. I'm sure he looked at me and thought, wasn't that the bloke I saw at Faro Airport last year? Or maybe not?

Having your sausage and eating it

I'm a big fan of Cumberland sausages. I like the big chunky ones I get from Whites on Market Street in Marple. I'm pretty sure they don't ship them in from Penrith every week.

Now there's a campaign - well, a PR stunt - to protect it. It's got everything, celebrity chefs, a Facebook page, regional indignation, a website, even a day (July 5) devoted to it:

Traditional Cumberland Sausage Day is being held as part of the campaign to give the sausage the same protection as products like Champagne, Parma Ham and Greek Feta cheese. A number of businesses around the county are organising special events including Traditional Cumberland Sausage barbeques and menus featuring the sausage.

They're having a launch day that should get the client - Made in Cumbria - on the local news. Especially at some of the events, including a barbie at the Waterhead Hotel in Ambleside, where chef Michael Weston Cole has made these spicy delights which should only call themselves Cumberland Sausages if they were made in Cumbria.

Er, slight problem. If we're going to get pedantic here, then I should point out that Ambleside isn't in Cumberland. It's in Westmorland. Cumberland as a county ceased to exist in 1974, when Cumbria was formed out of the two old North West counties - with some stolen parts of North Lancashire, including Barrow and Bowness-on-Windermere. There are pedants and traditionalists with maps of the traditional counties in their hallways, like me, who still regard the Cumbria project and the dissolution of Lancashire as a backward step. This kind of opportunistic PR nonsense just makes me ache even more for what was destroyed.

The protection is therefore bending its own rules. There's even something called a Westmorland Sausage, which it seems to me is more in need of protection than ever, as it appears to have been erased from all but the hardiest butchers in Kendal. It's slightly more herby, like Lincolnshire and there's something about it here.

Eco Superheroes

To the Bridgewater Hall for the North West Business Environment Awards. It's a slightly odd event as they get a square like me to introduce an award for the ecological wing of the business community and it starts with a discussion with a selected panel.

The event had a super hero theme running through it, which seemed to work well. Winner of the top award was Joe Dwek, a real class act who I interviewed last year. He has it spot on with the environment - the science might be wrong, but we have nothing to lose by being creative with waste, energy use and innovation.

The organiser, Walter Menzies, had called me during the day to avoid any mention of the congestion charge because he knows me and Joe aren't with the rest of the worthies on this one. Obviously we ignored him and obviously a quick show of hands showed we're in a minority in this kind of company though not the rest of Greater Manchester.

The judges may have been fulsome in their praise for Joe and his tireless work on the NWDA board for pushing green issues and for cleaning up the River Mersey through his work with the Mersey Basin Campaign, but they clearly haven't been with him in his office when he lights up these massive carbon emitting cigars, but then they are Cuban.

As the event is quite odd, I ended proceedings by reading the guests a bedtime story. It was this one.

No more football

Right, no more football for a month. It just depresses me to even think about it. This blog may mention the beautiful game around the middle of July in the context of the Marple Summer Sevens tournament, but it really is time for a rest.

Hat tip: Bitter End

Kids and work

Luke Johnson is very good in the FT today (as he usually is) on the role of your business goals in raising a family. A flavour is here:

After all, entrepreneurs and children ought to get on well since they are similar in many ways: impatient, self-centred, demanding, enthusiastic, energetic and wilful. At board meetings it can occasionally be difficult to tell them apart. But, perhaps, that is what makes them fun to have around.

The full thing is here.

Toby Young's book - as reviewed in the lift this morning

As I was on trains for 7 hours yesterday I did a fair bit of reading and listening to podcasts (and some work, honest). And I really did bore someone for 8 floors this morning while I told them this, my book review in a lift:

Managed to finish Tony Young's book - The Sound of No Hands Clapping. It's popular in any review of Toby Young to rather reinforce his image as a hapless loser by slagging off his work. I actually enjoyed it. He seems bluntly honest, which I like, slightly conceited, which I don't, but he is very funny.

As a reader of his column in the Spectator, I did notice he reuses the material in his book. I especially liked the story about asking his poor wife to pose for a picture in the maternity hospital with a black baby and emailing it to his friends with the message - "Marsellus was born today". He also has a story in the book where Sean Langan tells him the identity of a heckler, in the column it's Derek Draper, but the point is still the same. And it is still funny second time round.

Trust in the Walkers

An excellent piece by David Conn in the paper today. Here. He wrote a similar piece for Insider a couple of months ago, but the point is well made here too.

So far, the comments seem quite sensible, but Comment is Free quickly descends into bickering and spite.

The Walker Trust is stuck between acting to increase the wealth of the existing family and supporting businesses that Jack Walker wanted them to support. But it's difficult to see those assets shooting up in value. They haven't been able to float FlyBe, or sell it, and the other interests are either freehold property or a few trophy assets like hotels and restaurants, including the marvellous Three Fishes.

There is an ownership model that would work. Putting the club in trust to the people who really care for its future - the fans.

A Season With Verona - book review in a lift

Based on the rough principle that when someone asks you what that book's like, as you get in a lift, you have about 20 seconds to explain, this is how I've been doing book reviews on this blog.

Tim Parks - A Season With Verona - English bloke follows very average Italian football team Verona in the 2000-2001 season and goes to every game. Goes with the racist hooligans to some games, with the directors to others, in so doing presents a very readable account and sometimes sociological studyof Italian life. Reminded me a lot of Tobias Wolff's Dark Heart of Italy. Nice preparation for our August in Italy. More please.

The death of Shoot

There have been outbursts of nostalgia, like this, for Shoot magazine which is to close.

The issue for me is that the crowded kids magazine market couldn't sustain three magazines which were so similar. Match has been utterly dominant, but when the other competitor is Match of the Day and is cross promoted by a TV programme made by the BBC, then it's an uphill struggle.

The point is made here, in the comments below.

My English Rose

Just sipping a very fresh glass of English Rose wine from here. I tell you what, it would pass any Pepsi challenge with me. Paradoxically, it was a gift from a Scot. Marvellous.

A short history of racism at Blackburn Rovers

I first encountered the kind of raw, angry and hateful racism that scarred Britain in the 1970s at Ewood Park, Blackburn in 1978. The target was a Crystal Palace player (Vince Hilaire?) who was given a volley of monkey chants and foul abuse coupled with a bit of National Front support to let everyone else know that there was something more sinister going on. In those days pretty much every black player got the same. Alex Williams from Manchester City got the full banana treatment. Chelsea fans trumped everyone with a sustained abuse of Paul Cannoville, their own player, before chasing us all the way back to the station. I have never been so terrified.

You couldn't escape this kind of menace at football in the late 1970s and early to mid-1980s, it went with the experience of following football. There has never been much in the way of an organised hooligan presence at Blackburn. Partly it's a numbers thing, does one mob have more than the other and does this therefore increase the chances to bully another comparable mob? There were many occasions when a larger pack of bullies to walk back to town with would have felt quite comforting. Strangely, at Blackburn, the glue that bound together the bullying thugs in the area wasn't football, but the NF. Or rather, they'd follow different teams (Leeds, Man United, West Ham) where the chances to bully were greater, but would beat up Asians when at home. I know who most of them are by name and face and they seemed to gravitate back towards Rovers in the mid 1980s and brought all the unpleasant baggage with them.

Rovers didn't have a black player until Howard Gayle who joined in the summer of 1987. Yes, think about that. 1987. The same time John Barnes broke the mould at Liverpool, a place a journeyman like Howard Gayle was offered no latitude or second chances. I liked Howard and his direct have-a-go attitude. I also liked his 20 goals that season. I once saw him get in the Nuttall Street paddock and offer out someone who said something to him as he was warming up.

I had a cup of tea with then manager Don Mackay in 1988 and he told me the player he most wanted to sign was "a Pakistani boy from this area". Twenty years ago he saw how Rovers needed to reach out. Even now, there are less than 50 Asian season ticket holders at Ewood Park.

After a few squad players dipping in and out - Peter Baah, Jason Beckford - Rovers was a white team throughout the 1990s - the Jack Walker years. I remember writing in Many Miles From Home, a Rovers fanzine, about the monkey chants directed at Carl Leaburn in 1991. You'd hear snippets from people that Jack Walker didn't want "a certain type of player" at the club. And apart from Richard Brown - who was alright - no black players appeared in the Premier League under Kenny Dalglish and Ray Harford. I raised this with the directors in 1998 at a London supporters forum and any notion that this harmed any attempt to increase ethnic support was denied by Bob Coar, the chairman. But Peter White, then the Lancashire Evening Telegraph reporter for Rovers, now deceased, said there was something in it. He clarified by saying Teddy Sheringham was a player Jack Walker blocked as a "wrong sort" and so too was, wait for it, Paul Ince, then at Inter Milan.

Roy Hodgson signed Martin Dahlin (who was rubbish) and there have, happily, been plenty of good quality black players since. Andy Cole, Chris Samba, Benni, Marcus Bent and many more. There's been some crap too, but I don't believe for a moment that any of them has been treated any differently by the fans because of their colour. It certainly isn't like Italy. Dwight Yorke got some stick when he came back with Birmingham, but I don't believe there was much racism in it.

So here we are, on the brink of making history. And do you know what, I don't think any of this will have figured in the minds of the board when offering the job of managing Blackburn Rovers to Paul Ince. Good.

Talk Tonight

It looks like the Tony Wilson tribute has gone very well at Urbis. It seems like a fitting event to remember someone who had so much to say about so very much.

Manchester restaurants - ten more thoughts

A while back, here, I wrote about ten places to pop into for lunch that I hadn't been to yet. I've pretty much done it now, and here are my ten thoughts, topped up with one from Liverpool, and another observation on the worst plate of food I've had put in front of me in 8 years in Manchester.

Gastro's deli and food hall - it was pleasant enough, a bit dear for what it offered, but has closed down already. Oh dear.

I still haven't been to Katsouri's in Bury. I went to the one in Manchester a few weeks ago and though the food was good, the fried food in the deli made my clothes stink.

Ithaca - well loved by people like this. I thought the interior was tacky but the food was awesome, but expensive.

Grado - Excellent the first time, when I was with the owner, good when I was there a second time and the other owner was in. Very average when I went for a third time.

Vermilion - I went there for lunch and we were the only people there. The fresh and spicy Thai food was awesome though.

If there's a better Chinese banquet for 30 people than Yang Sing I've yet to eat it. Brilliant food, excellent service.

I've long held the view that there's little to seperate certain chain bars and fast food joints except for £50 for a family meal. On a recent outing in Manchester we opted for lunch at Harvey Nicols for me, Rachel and Elliot. Wonderful service, great kids meal for our little boy and ours was lovely too.

Restaurant Bar and Grill used to be THE place for the business lunch. I went on Monday and it's still got something, but it isn't the Thai curry. I could do better myself and proved it to myself on Wednesday night.

Restaurant Bar and Grill in Liverpool is a real goldfish bowl of Liverpool corporate and cultural life. John Barnes was in! And the food is very good too. I had a haddock risotto which was creamy, fresh and delicious, in stark contrast to...

Room. I had a haddock kedgiree. It was basically Bachelors Pot Rice with a
chip shop piece of fried battered haddock on top. Ghastly. The worst meal in living memory.

Ince becomes Nice

I'm quite excited about Paul Ince joining Rovers as manager. I absolutely loathed him when he was at Man United and we beat them to the title in 1995. I ironically used to refer to him as Paul Nice. As I always thought he probably wasn't. The Guvnor, remember that. Oh dear. He was young then, and so was I. :-)

Over my dead body

A trustee of the Walker Family Trust has told a friend of mine that Sam Alladyce will be appointed manager of Blackburn Rovers "over my dead body". Given the trustees own the club on behalf of, er, the deceased Jack Walker. I think that has to be taken as a no.

Wilson footage unearthed

Previously unseen video footage of the late Manchester icon and music impresario Anthony H Wilson has been unearthed at The University of Manchester.

The video, which shows the former record label boss and journalist in forthright and animated mood, was shot in 1998 as part of celebrations to mark the 50th anniversary of the birth of ‘The Baby’ – the first computer capable of storing a program.

You can see the full interview where Wilson claims digital music in pop music started with his band New Order, which is true, obviously. Remember, when faced with the choice of the truth, or legend, always pick the legend.

At one point in the entertaining and illuminating clip, he breaks off to take a phone call on a large mobile phone. He goes on to argue that the Baby was THE first computer – and dismisses the views of “fussing” academics as “b*ll*cks”.

The footage came to light while Web designers at The University of Manchester were building the official web site for Digital 60 Day, which will take place on this Friday.

(Hat tip: Alex Waddington, University of Manchester)

Silverback goes to Mongolia

This is from Popbitch:

Apprentice silverback goes to Mongolia
Now The Apprentice is over, Suralan's sidekick Nick Hewer is off to Ulan Bator in a 20 year old
Renault to take part in the Mongol Rally. The hard-nosed taskmaster has a softer side - he's raising money to reunite institutionalised children in Eastern Europe with their families. Sugar has coughed up a grand. The cream of Britain's TV business world (Jacqueline Gold, Karren Brady, Margaret Mountford etc) have also sponsored Nick.

See how cheap/generous the celebrity sponsors have been here. (Gold - 200 quid, Brady 20 quid etc)

Soft as sugar

Right, back to reality. I no longer have to justify to anyone why I watched a programme as ridiculous as The Apprentice. I sped home from a job in Warrington last night to see the final episode. Why? What have I turned into?

The fact that Suralan hired Lee instead of Clare told me one thing: he's soft. In the previous episode Karren Brady said she'd give Clare a job if Suralan didn't. He knew she was the better apprentice and was more likely to be a success for him, but he chose the path of least resistance. He picked Lee because he thought Clare would be OK. If he didn't pick Lee then what might happen to the poor lad who was exposed on national TV for lying on his CV?

Remember too that he bottled it when he should have fired the good little Jewish boy who didn't know what kosher was.

Was never going to happen

What was it that first attracted Blackburn Rovers fans to the idea of Alan Shearer being manager? He was our greatest ever player? He might make a good manager one day? The prospect of Mike Newell pitching up alongside him? The return of Tim Flowers as goalkeeping coach?

All of the above, but more than anything it was a desire of the heart, not of the head. I know, I'm guilty as charged. But when you look at the evidence, he's a coward. He's too comfortable and doesn't have the hunger he had as a player. He's happy on the Match of the Day sofa trotting out his boring opinions with those other smug gits Lineker, Lawro and Hansen.

And do you know what? One day people will stop talking about him becoming a manager. He'll stop popping up on shortlists in the tabloids and there'll be a new generation of successful players keen for a slot on the sofa. And where will that leave him and the rest the smug squad? A bunch of has beens wondering what might have been.

Not bitter or anything. Oh no. Here's bitter: Simon Hattenstone on Manchester City.

The question to Ask

Property developer Asklife, which is partly owned by Marple Bridge man Ken Knott, has bought Compstall Mills and plans to convert the property into 122 luxury apartments. There's a public consultation that starts this week.

A few years ago I mentioned the possible uses for this building to former councillor Mark Hunter, now an MP. He was adamant it would never get through planning as a residential scheme because of the traffic problems that would ensue.

Ask Life is holding a public consultation to encourage local residents to get involved and have their say on the re-development of Compstall Mills into a luxury, residentially led scheme.

Taking place at the Church Hall in Compstall on Wednesday 11, Friday 13 and Saturday 14 June, Ask Life are inviting locals to view the proposals for 122 high specification, high quality family homes and apartments. The units will be a mix of both new build apartments and houses within the refurbished mills, along with c25,000 sq ft of flexible commercial space.

Planning for the proposed units will be submitted following the community consultation in late July / early August.

Jonathon Weston, Project Manager at Ask Life, says: “We’re really looking forward to the public’s response to the scheme and we are confident that it will be well received.”

Times for the consultation are as follows: Wednesday 11 June 3pm-7pm, Friday 13 June 6:30pm – 8:30pm and Saturday 14 June 10am-2pm.

The question to Ask, is what public realm improvements and traffic control will have to be introduced to ensure that this scheme doesn't utterly screw up the traffic. Bear in mind that Dan Bank in Marple is being rebuilt next year, this horrendous bottleneck will then be the only route out of Marple towards Romiley and beyond.

Maybe Marple should have applied under the Transport Innovation Fund for a new public transport system in return for a peak time congestion charging scheme.

The haughty forty

Apart from the specious one from me, there have been 40 applications for the vacant manager's job at Blackburn Rovers.

The Sunday People's Alan Nixon - who has been lurking on the BRFC Supporters Messageboard tantalising bored call centre workers with hints about who it might be - went to press on Sunday with the news that Alan Shearer is going to talk to John Williams about the job.

To be fair, he writes with much less certainty than the Daily Mirror, which reported that Paul Ince is to be offered the job, or the Daily Mirror on a different day, which reported that Sam Alladyce has been given a three year contract.

We've also had Tony Parkes piping up that Shearer is the man for the job, but he needs an assistant to do all the work. Any suggestions, Tony?

Tiff over TIF

Today's the day that the Greater Manchester local authorities are to be told they will be able to proceed with a bid to unlock £1bn worth of funding to improve the public transport system. The catch? the introduction of a peak time congestion charge in 2013.

There's a good summary of the issues here. The BBC coverage is very good, here, and this backgrounder is also useful.

As the editor of a business magazine I get asked at Insider to "come off the fence" and join the opposing campaigns, the Greater Manchester Momentum Group and United City. It brings into focus what we are here to do and where the media should stand. I actually think it's such an important issue that the least we can do is provide a forum for informed and grown up debate. Taking sides is futile.

I don't think Manchester has done very well out of this government. The track record on delivering on promises has been very poor. As this is a project built upon a deal, I feel uneasy about it.

Public transport should be much better. England's second city is important to the development of the economy of the nation and NEEDS a tram system and a train network that people would want to travel on. Whether this is the best way to unlock the finance to do that is the key issue now. The bid would NOT be happening if it was just a means to charge motorists. The prize should be a better train system.

One of the lines that would get better trains under the plan is one to and from Marple. There is also a very ambiguous commitment to do a study into whether the Marple line should be converted into a Metrolink type operation. Detail on this is quite hard to come by.

And here's a savage irony. Due to a power failure today, trains into Manchester Piccadilly have been severely delayed. One of my guys has taken 4 hours to get to work today - a new record. Appalling.

* There will be a special Manchester Business programme on BBC Radio Manchester tonight from 6pm to 7pm, with a debate between leading opponent of the congestion charge, Andrew Simpson from Peel and Chris Oglesby from Bruntwood, who is in favour. The show will be presented by Steve Saul and me.

When Saturday Comes

At one point I used to have the full collection of When Saturday Comes magazines. I continued to subscribe thinking I was building a historical legacy. When I saw the lot advertised for £100 I realised those unread articles about Mansfield weren't adding to any valuable heirlooms. I still like it whenever I do buy it.

They've had a bit of a push on their website, there's a daily blog and a weekly email - plus this, the best book review ever.

Someone on there also said: “The biggest problem of England not being at Euro 2008 is that without regular reminders I might forget myself and surrender to the IRA.”

Hat tip: Taguey

Manchester Business on BBC Radio

I've been on the radio tonight and I've got my own sting now. It's very different being a "guest presenter" to being a guest. You realise how hard the guy in the middle has to work. I enjoyed it though. Got some good interviews with Mark Garner from Man Con and Steve Smith from Ear to the Ground.

You can listen again by clicking here. Then find your way to Manchester Now with Steve Saul. We're in the second hour, coming in just after Al Green's Let's Stay Together.

The rumour mill grinds on

I've been sniffing around the dark recesses of the Rovers fans messageboard and discovered some gems about the search for a new manager.

* "Ronnie Claytons son works with my mates mum and from a close source within rovers alan shearer is at brockhall today holding talks over the managers job!"

* "Mate of mine with family in Blackpool said they spoke with Colin Hendry in a pub in Lytham last night and he said from what he's heard the job is Shearer's if he wants it."

* "Candidate B is a manager not from England that has Premier experiance, Mr Nicko is unable to mention the name at this time."

* John Williams is in London today.

* Mike Newell and Alan Shearer dream ticket with Kenny Dalglish as director of football.

* Tony Parkes and Simon Grayson from Blackpool

* Didier Descamps, David Ginola, Denis Bergkamp, blah di blah.

* I've also tried to get my head around the odds on Betfair, here, which seem to show the price on Shearer collapsing.

All I need right now

I'm still feeling a bit depressed about this. And tonight I'm going to a dinner to hear a talk about this. It's all I need.

Is Sam the man?

You have to be impressed with the quick feet of the Rovers board in lining up Sam Alladyce as a replacement for Mark Hughes, even before he's agreed to join Manchester City. I contacted a mate of Sam's tonight he confirmed it is looking likely that he is going to join Rovers. Sky News are reporting that The Wally With The Brolly fancies it. No thanks.

There is a reason for this haste. The club is still for sale, finishing 7th was good, but not good enough. Having no manager through the summer is not going to help build for the future.

Inevitably (some) Rovers fans are unhappy about this. I think Allardyce got Bolton to punch way above their weight. He's what we need.

As for Mark Hughes, I think he's barking mad to go to City. Richard Williams in the Graun today is very good on this. Link is here. Any visiting City supporters may also like to check out this blog which doesn't like Thaksin very much.

All of this sounds very plausible, of course. What none of it does is give me any clearer idea of how I can explain any of it to a couple of heartbroken small boys who can't see why anyone would want to desert the world's greatest football club.

The seaside town they forgot to close down

When property developers Urban Splash bought the Midland Hotel on Morecambe promenade I said at the time we would host the first business event there. We just have. We held a smashing lunch in the Marion Dorn function room attended by a few friends, local business people and the former owners of the hotel.

The hotel is a regional treasure. Built in 1933 it has spectacular views over Morecambe Bay to the Lake District in the distance. The building itself is art deco with a splendid collection of Eric Gill fascias. The modernisation in its current form is an absolute triumph; it's amazing what you can do with a bit of bravery, vision and £4m from the NWDA. Just joking. It's so beautiful.

But to really understand the appeal of the place you just have to sit, as I am right now, in the reception area and see the steady stream of visitors who are walking around mesmerised by the transformation. I've just spoken to a lady who used to work in the reception. There are people checking in who are telling tales about how they came here on their honeymoon 50 years ago. Truly, I never thought it would come back to life so beautifully and so successfully. I can't wait to come back.

Hughes, to Shearer

I've always known that Mark Hughes has helped Blackburn Rovers to over achieve. For a young manager who wants to compete at the top level it just isn't enough to finish 7th and to miss out on Europe. I've always been comfortable with the thought that he would win things for Rovers, setting up the Manchester United job for himself. I think he's had a benign board at Rovers. So benign in fact that they're prepared to let him talk to another Premier League Club while he's still got two years left on his contract. If he does join the mad house that is Manchester City, he will soon see what football has become - working for a human rights abusing dictator will be very different from answering to some kindly men in suits administering a dead man's estate.

It also really angers me that whenever Rovers get anywhere our best players and managers are auctioned off by the national press and the smug gits on Match of the Day.

But here's a thought. He bottled the Newcastle job, but he could do a job at Rovers. Alan Shearer for manager. He's been offered it before, now should be the time to give it a go.

Miracle at St Anna - Book review in a lift

My pal Paul got me this incredible book because the story is based around the part of Italy we both know so well. It's an incredible story that throws together so many back stories of loyalty, faith, spirit, survival and racism. It's basically about four black American soldiers who get caught behind the retreating SS in late 1944 in Italy. The ragged Nazis are at their worst, the Italian population are at war with themselves, while 4 terrified GIs who are treated like crap by their white officers are fighting for their lives and that of a boy they rescue from a barn during a battle. Unsurprisingly it's being made into a film, directed by Spike Lee, which will be released later this year. There's some press about the film here.

Role model

One of the boys got Match of the Day magazine last week, the issue dated 23rd of May. One of the posters this week, with a player profile and trailed on the cover, was Joey Barton of Newcastle United. On his fan site here, you can read about the fact he's just been jailed for 6 months for battering a teenager in Liverpool city centre. Great timing, eh?

We got to that place...

I've waited 25 years to hear Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen played live. Last night we went to Old Trafford (Badlands) and saw as powerful a demonstration of musicianship, audience rousing and sheer energy as I've ever witnessed. The band played for 2 and a half hours, played 26 songs and covered the range of his music. It was worth the wait.

The official site here has the set list.

Music festivals - taking child cruelty to a new level?

After a couple of consecutive weekends with no football tournaments, no mad dashing around to see people and lots of happy children lolling about we have come up with the idea of going to a weekend music festival. All of us. I read about the Cornbury Music Festival in Oxfordshire in The Word magazine, where it was described as "Poshstock" and a cross between a country fair and a garden party. Lots of reviews and pictures make out that it's very child friendly, assuming the weather holds it could be amazing. Assuming it doesn't, it could be a rotten weekend as well as a very expensive one.

The line-up looks pretty good too: Paul Simon, Crowded House, Half Man Half Biscuit, Carbon Silicon (Mick Jones) and The Bangles.

None of these are on any of the kids' iPod playlists (Mika and Take That figure heavily) but they are on ours. Honestly, it's not about the music though.

Anyone out there got a view? Anyone fancy coming?

Spirit of Radio

I recorded an interview yesterday for City Talk, a radio station in Liverpool. It's about the economy and why we aren't going to hell in a handcart, but things are blooming tough. The presenter Rob McLoughlin is always good to chat to and I wish I could hear more of it. It's on tomorrow morning from 7am to 10am but we can't get a signal here in Marple due to this new Rock Radio station in Manchester being on the same wavelength.

It's amazing to think that the Rock Radio licence was originally granted for a talk format. Still, they played all 8 minutes and 33 glorious seconds of the magnificent Kashmir by Led Zeppelin on Thursday when I was driving home late at night. I don't think my 8 minutes on Sunday morning will give anyone listening anything like as much pleasure.

History repeating itself

Gordon Brown's current predicament does have a historical parallel. In Australia in the 1990s Paul Keating - finance minsiter - grew impatient of waiting for Bob Hawke - a popular election winning Labour leader - to step aside despite a mate's agreement that he would do so.

Keating did become PM, he also had the balls to challenge Hawke for the job and won it. His was a prickly period in office where he lacked the touch of his more popular predecessor. Amazingly though, and against all the odds, he won the 1993 election - even though there was uncomfortable economic turmoil. His victory speech is an amazing piece of oratory, starting with the line: "this is the sweetest victory of all", going on to hail the "true believers" in the Australian way.

I can't see Gordon Brown having that sweet taste. Just more sourness. The Australian Tories - The Liberal Party - were still in a state of some flux - John Howard only went on to revive the party nationally after this defeat in 1995.

I was having a chat about all of this last Tuesday with Alan Gilbert, an Australian in Manchester, a fascinating character with a great wit and a wonderful grasp of people and issues.

Beer and whine

I agree with the sentiments expressed by Nigel Hughes, here, who also links to Brian Reade in some paper I never buy, but is here.

This whole NHS campaign against drinking is nonsense. It's a waste of money. It's patronising drivel with no basis in any kind of science.

I registered my protest against this in the usual way by popping into Majestic today. I'm particularly looking forward to getting stuck into a bottle of Ned Black Label Waihopai River Sauvignon Blanc. Served very cold it has that gorgeous gooseberry nose that I've always loved about the Marlborough Montana from the same region, but this is worth the extra couple of quid.

As it's a bank holiday weekend I thought it would be rude not to have some beer to offer guests so grabbed a case of Sol, a fruity Mexican beer.

Cheers. have a great weekend.

Revolution in Manchester restaurant scene, maybe?

There's a new bar in town - Ithaca - it's been two years in the making and is trying to introduce the private members bar concept to Manchester. ManCon is very fulsome in its praise, here, but warns about the risks of attracting gangsters.

I've also received an invitation to be a member, here.

One of the comments underneath made me laugh:

Ithaca and Michael Caines @ Abode more likely to fail than to get a Michelin star. There's not a big enough market for expensive dining out in Manchester. The only reason there is a market in London is all the foreign millionaires living there. In Manchester the millionaires are footballers (who deep down prefer eating at KFC), gangsters (who deep down prefer drinking champagne to fine dining), property developers (who are currently sh***ing it on account of the credit crunch), and the Cheshire set (who venture into town only rarely and who aren't very discerning at the best of times).

I shall pop in next week and make up my own mind.

Ten Questions on the Champions League Final

Watching the Champions League final last night was a curious experience, especially as I wasn't bothered about who won, until Chelsea scored. Then it dawned on me how awful it would be if they were to win. Here are ten other unanswered thought provoking questions.

In contrast to John "Chels Through and Through TM" Terry, how "bothered" did Sulky Nic Anelka look when he missed?

Sir Alex Ferguson says United deserved to win it because of the history of the club, does a club therefore have to have suffered a tragedy in order to deserve to win it?

When did UEFA introduce the rule that insists on bald directors leading the teams up for their medals, and why did Peter Kenyon, Chelsea's chief executive, get a medal, and why did Sir Bobby Charlton refuse his?

Does this say anything meaningful about character and class?

How come only Drogba got sent off for raising his hands in the handbags melee?

Wasn't it funny when Wayne Rooney had a wee hissy fit when he got subbed?

When did Joe Cole become the biggest moaner in a team of spitting and snarling moaners?

When the camera panned from Avram Grant to Abramovich, sitting in those outrageously grand official seats, the rich one was seen leaning over and saying something to his girlfriend, was I the only one who thought it looked like "kill him" a la Armstrong and Miller?

ManCon has found out a few things about the lack of an open top bus tour. Isn't it daft not to let them have a victory parade in Manchester and Trafford, or Cornwall, or Cork, or Singapore, or Bedford?

How long was it before someone started sending things like this around by email?

Business of Sport Summit

Insider put on some more terrific business events last week. We also did our first conference, the Business of Sport Summit. It was a great day to be talking about the North West as a sporting region as the city buzzed with excitement (and, clearly, incontinence) for the UEFA Cup Final. We obviously didn't know Rangers would be coming when we planned it.

One of the best speakers was Chris Ronnie, the chief executive of JJB Sports who did indeed confirm in answer to a question (from me, as the moderator of that session) that he is actively looking to buy Blackburn Rovers, he is acting in concert with other people known to me, but his interest is genuine and consistent with what Alan Nixon has reported in the papers he writes for and on the Rovers supporters message board, thread is here.

He offered the caveat that he is a business man who likes looking at deals. It may come to nothing.

Rothschild in London are handling the sale on behalf of the Walker Trust.

From my point of view, as a Rovers supporter, this all throws up concerns. The biggest of which is the waning interest of the Walker Trustees. Our April magazine carried a detailed feature on this by David Conn, author of The Beautiful Game and a regular columnist in The Guardian. If anyone is interested I can send them a PDF of it. Please leave me a message on this site with your email address and I'll send a copy, or I can post it if someone can help me get over that particular technical hurdle.

Comic capers

A treat for all the boys at the weekend is a comic of their choosing. I remember my primary school teacher Mr Holmes encouraging us to read comics when we were small, as it gave us a love of reading and discovery. Some of the games and puzzles in Children's Favourites are just fantastic and I've just been cutting and sticking a Sponge Bob Square Pants landscape which Matt and Elliot are cackling over now.

Joe and Louis like Match and Match of the Day, which they seem to enjoy as much I liked Shoot when I was their age, while Max keeps us hiding behind the sofa with a Dr Who comic.

They're all pretty expensive though and the content is very pumped up with characters, brands and merchandising.

In the predictable spirit of nostalgia I've shared a few things from my vintage comic collection but it hasn't passed muster. They like Tintin DVDs but not the books. My treasured Victor annual has some good football stories, but a lot of the historical tales are very violent. In these days of tut tutting at Grand Theft Auto, it's easy to forget that we were reared on graphic pictures of "eat lead Jerry" and "Achtung" from Commando and Battle. Victor's Alf Tupper - Tough of the Track - seemed to think a good punch to the face was the best way to solve any dispute, but at least he wasn't trying to flog the kids his own brand of trainers. He would be now.

Chilled out

This is one of those rare weekends where we won't be racing from football tournament to shops to kids party to home and back out again. Just two kids parties and one football match for Max and Louis, the rest of us are chilling out. After the week I've had - out every night - it's a welcome break. Next week is looking just as manic.

The sour smell of the urine of bears

Further to the post about the Rangers invasion, Manchester Confidential today is very good. It picks up the mood very well, how the reaction went from positive to irritable to outright negative in the same way as the smell went from fresh air to stale beer to urine.

Anyway, the link is here.

Ten thoughts on the UEFA Cup final in Manchester

When Manchester made a bid to host the UEFA Cup, they had one idea in mind - lots of well behaved Germans and Italians, for instance. What transpired was always going to be quite different.

The estimates at the numbers of Rangers fans who were coming seemed to increase by the hour. A supporters’ spokesman simply took the highest claimed figure for Celtic fans in Seville and added 10 per cent. That would be about 150,000.

The city centre yesterday was brilliant. The Rangers fans were drunk, sure, but it was all very good natured. The stories bandying around were like this: "Just seen a guy who used to work here and he lives just on the out skirts of town and he woke up this morning to find a load of Glasgow Rangers fans camping in his front garden hahahahaha .... he said they were sat on their deck chairs and didn't want to tell them to move they scared him hahahaha."

The thrill of going to a major final, in the UEFA hospitality area was just brilliant. A real once in a lifetime experience. Walking down the red carpet with Denis Law, sitting with Trevor Francis, was just great.

The game was pretty crap, as bad a first half as I've ever seen. But what we expected. Darcheville is a fairly artless blunt instrument on his own up front. Rangers occasionally play some neat passing football, but the style is to play deep with 4 centre backs and has been effective enough, so why change? Barry Ferguson did what he always does; look busy but with a poor final ball. The spell in the first 15 minutes of the second half was the chance to score and they missed it.

The atmosphere in the stadium was electric at kick off, but went flatter quite quickly. When it picked up it was really created by the Russians. Only when they made noise did that rouse the Rangers fans.

We missed the first goal because city council officials and the editor of the MEN were stood up around us as news came through about "riots" in Piccadilly. The bother in Piccadilly Gardens, which is written about here, was caused by a screen going down. So many pissed people were BOUND to have gone mental if the screen went blank.

I'm surprised the clean up didn't go on through the night. To arrive in the city centre through Piccadilly today was a disgusting experience with the smell of stale urine hanging in the air.

The question for Manchester is this: was it worth it? I think it was.

Max at United

Max was picked to join a team to play Man United's Under 7s today at The Cliff. He did really well bouncing around in goal saving shots from all angles. Of course they got a bit of a thrashing, but it was a great experience for them. Rachel wasn't allowed to take photos, clap, cheer, or shout encouragement. A bit like Old Trafford, then.

Verdict - the fans have their say

Although I can't stand radio phone-ins I do like the fans comments in the Observer. The Rovers fan who contributes - Bill Boaden - seems like a nice bloke and I usually agree with him. Strangely, I can't find it online.

Copying the format, here's what I think.

How was your season? OK, a bit flat in places and lacked the highs of the last one. We dropped too many points at home to teams we were capable of burying.

Happy with the gaffer? Oh yes. he doesn't seem to rant at referees the way he used to and he did some great business in moving Savage along just as he was stirring things up a bit when he got dropped.

Who were the stars and who flopped? Santa Cruz has been absolutely amazing. Bentley can do things to turn a match, Friedel is the best keeper in the Prem. No-one flopped, but I was disappointed at McCarthy this season. he is class, but fell below his own standards and admitted he was tempted by Chelski.

Who were the best and worst away fans? I hate to admit that the devil has the best tunes, so Man United for noise, Everton for patience - we robbed them.

Top hate figure at another club?
Life's too short for hate.

Top five opposition players
Green (West Ham), Davis (Portsmouth), Lescott (Everton), Bullard (Fulham), Petrov (Citeh).

Thirsty work, this football

I mean, what can you do? Ten games in a morning takes it out of you. So what better way for three touchline Dads to ease the strain of watching our 9 year old sons than a pint of Extra Cold. Lovely.

Season over - predictions revisited

Did OK in my predictions, not brilliant, but got the main one and surprisingly, got Rovers spot on. Not getting into Europe is a real blow. Not just for our travel plans, but for Sparky hoping to get players to sign and keep some of the so-called stars who've been analysed on the Big Four Scouting Special (Match of the Day).

Man U - spot on
Liverpool - two off
Chelsea - one off
Spurs - worst prediction of all, way off
Arse - two off
Villa - spot on
Rovers - spot on
Everton - underestimated
Sunderland - not this good
Newcastle - about right
Reading - overestimated
West Ham - about right
Portsmouth - underestimated
Birmingham - not this good
Man City - not this bad, but 8-1, on the last day, oh dear
Bolton - spot on
Middlesbrough - not this bad
And for the drop...
Derby - as yet undiscovered tribes in darkest Africa will have predicted this
Fulham - wrong
Wigan - wrong

Other tips:
West Brom to win the Championship, Burnley and Preston mid table, Blackpool stay up.
Forest to win League One in some style, Dirty Leeds to go down again.
Rangers to win the Scottish prem, Hibs to get third spot.
Spurs to do well in Europe, maybe even get to the final.
Rovers to do OK, but to parade the Intertoto Cup around in an open top bus

Championship was bang on, and a wish I had the courage to gamble. Shame Dirty Leeds did OK, Scotland is unfinished business. As is the UEFA Cup. Bring it on.

How much football can one boy play?

Another mad football day today. Marple Ath under 9s entered the Urmston Meadowside tournament. The A team got to the semi-final, then won the plate trophy. We then rushed over to Stockport Power League for Joe's 9th birthday party with his pals and brothers. A football theme, obviously, as if he wasn't worn out enough by playing ten games in a day.

I've never been to the perfect football tournament, there's always something that's rubbish aboout it. Sometimes it's the catering - overpriced rip off burgers, but food and drink was reasonable at Urmston. No, the problem at this one was the time keeping. We were a full hour over by the time we started worrying about getting over for Joe's party.

Player of the Year

Last night was the Marple Athletic presentation night at Acton Court Hotel. It was a cracking awards do, every bit as exciting and professionally hosted as any of the business awards bashes I get involved in. Walk up stings, passionate speeches, audience participaton and an auction. Alan Keegan, an Under 7s Dad, and the MC at the Theatre of Dreams did a boss job hosting it.

High spot, proudest fatherly moment in the world: Under 9s player of the season as chosen by the managers, Clive Breed and Padraig Walsh, ladies and gentleman: Joe Taylor.

For the parents player of the year, like most people, I voted for Ryan Knott, a great lad. No nonsense centre forward full of running and honest endeavour. And a scorer of great goals this season.

Drink responsibly

I heard yesterday that Manchester City Council have cancelled a planned launch on Thursday of a responsible drinking campaign. It would have seemed odd doing so at the same time as mopping up puke and pish from the Rangers invasion of Manchester.

Under siege

Hyde is being dug up at the moment. Compstall Road in Cherry Tree has temporary lights. Offerton is as bottlenecked as ever. That's why I tend to let the train take the strain. It's like we're under siege sometimes.

Israel at 60

I'm travelling today - Bristol and back - so I've been reading a lot as well as trying to do some work on Virgin Cross Country Trains. There's a lot in the papers about the 60th anniversary of Israel. The best thing I've read is this:

And yet, despite the hostility of so many, Israel at 60 thrives. It has absorbed huge numbers of immigrants from the Middle East and farther afield (indeed it has recently become a magnet for Sudanese refugees), it has enviable indices of human development, contributed a huge amount to science and maintained the only liberal democracy – imperfect, like all others - in the Middle East and all this in a context where it has constantly had to defend itself from attacks designed to be mortal. It therefore deserves the warmest possible congratulations on its 60th birthday and it’s to be hoped that Palestinians will soon be accepting congratulations for the foundation of their own state too.

From today’s Buenos Aires Herald, which you can link to here.

Watching the Apprentice - how did that happen?

As a rule we don't watch reality TV crap. None of it. All rubbish. It has all passed us by and we don't feel poorer for it. Bizarrely however, we are hooked on the latest series of the Apprentice. What's struck us though, is that this lot are such a weasly bunch of back stabbers. The challenge is to not get found out for contributing nothing. Maybe that's what work is like for most people, but I'm sure "Sralan" restrains from firing some of the halfwits because they'll get bullied mercilessly for the pleasure of the viewing public.

We're watching it now. How sad.

Not fun in the sun

There's a special offer on at Selfridges in Manchester where you get free prescription lenses in their choice of sunglasses. I was told yesterday by a young male assistant that the ones I wanted would be "no problem". When I returned today I was told that wasn't so and the lenses would cost an extra £125. When I asked which ones WOULD qualify, the woman on duty found THREE pairs. This country, unbelievable. This isn't the first time I've been underwhelmed with the level of service and products at Selfridges. I'm going to give it a swerve from now on.

Marple invades Fleetwood

If you noticed that Marple seemed quieter at the weekend it was because 233 of us were on a caravan park in Fleetwood, on the Lancashire coast, for a junior football tournament. The Cala Gran wouldn't be my holiday destination of choice, but we had an absolutely fantastic time. We had a great crack with the other parents and enjoyed their company very much. I saw a few parents this morning who have taken the day off to recover today. No such luck here, I'm afraid.

As for the football, Joe's team did well, finishing third in the league, just an unlucky bounce and a post away from winning a couple of games they drew 0-0. The six minutes each way format didn't do them any favours as they usually grind out wins through constant attacks. They looked exhausted by the end, but really enjoyed the presentation at the end where Kevin Ratcliffe (Everton and Wales) presented them with trophies.

Max and Louis played in different sides in the Under 7s and did really well, Max keeping a few clean sheets in goal.

There will be more news and photos on the Marple Athletic website, here, especially news about the win by our Under 10s and the Under 9s B team getting a "most sporting team" award.

We went into Fleetwood on Monday, a town that has seen better days. The fish was very good at this place on the front, but everywhere looked ever so tatty and tired. All in all a great weekend.

Ready for Rangers

I was advised to leave Manchester for a month last night as the city braces itself for an invasion by the supporters of Glasgow Rangers. I just hope they behave themselves better than the other team from their city. When Manchester is visited by green shirts and red necks it's a real pain in the arse.

I'm so chuffed to have a ticket for this one. I've always felt a small tinge of sympathy with Rangers. I went there, with him and him, in 1991 for a Hearts game, en route to see Chris Eubank batter a Mexican taxi driver, and with a Rovers wooly hat on. The lads around us were chuffed to bits to see us; buying us drinks and telling me Rovers/Rangers connections that had never occurred to me. By the time Colin Hendry had been and gone twice, Souness took us to Celtic Park with Tugay in his team and we tried the Barry Ferguson experiment, we feel like blood brothers. Add to that the connection that two of my best pals, Steven Lindsay and Alec Craig, are both Glasweigan-born true blue Rovers fans.

If anyone is reading this and wondering why a member of the holy church of the left foot is spouting this crap, all I can say is that religion should have sod all to do with football.

Paint the town blue

We're running a Business of Sport Summit in Manchester on the day of the UEFA Cup Final - the 14th of May. I've also got a ticket for the game that night. Tonight is the big one - will Glasgow Rangers fans be painting Manchester Blue and White (and Orange), or will it be a sophisticated European festival of culture with the Bavarians and Florentines?