In an act of penance for this, I've been buying presents. The younger ones got this. The older ones got an own goals and gaffs DVD narrated by some bloke called Bradley.
Joe laughed like a hyena at Ronnie Rosenthal. Louis loved the Rene Higuita crab kick. Max roared at Robbie Keane when he scored at the expense of some hapless keeper.
It cost about twenty quid and it will be ruined in days. I then spotted the Danny Baker VHS in an Oxfam charity shop in Marple (I've been living rough) and do you know what, they like it better. It cost 25p and the machine we play it on will pack up before it has a glitch.
Simon Hawkins, here, reviews the current crop of rubbish in this flooded field.