I was invited to a private dining event on Thursday with a group of 20 blokes from round and about. He was there, these chaps were as well, as were him and him. This bloke kept us amused, not least at the anagram of his name - Him of Claret, which is good for a Burnley fan. It is a tremendous occasion. How I got home is a mystery. How I managed to lock the family out is not. I double bolted the door and they had to call a locksmith while I was asleep inside. Frankly I'm lucky I've not been kipping in the shed this weekend.