Norman Geras got me started on this one. Wolfie and Neil have tweaked it a bit, but it is a work in progress.
Our Father, which art in Heaton,
Fallowfield be thy Name.
Thy Kingsway come.
In Irlam as it is in Heavily.
Give us this day our Lower Bredbury.
And forgive us our Reddishes,
As we forgive them that Prestwich against us.
And lead us not into Timperly;
But deliver us from Cheadle:
For thine is the Swinton, the Crumpsall, and the Gorton,
For Eccles and Eccles. Hough End.