Bookmarks this week

Some bookmarks this week.

Comic Relief - go on, dig deep, you know it makes sense.

Christopher Hitchens gets roughed up in Beirut. This is a profound and shocking piece. Make a stand against bigotry and nazism.

Luke Johnson on trading down. Always wise.

Oliver Kamm reviews Nick Cohen's new book. One to add to the list.

Andy Dickinson on students and newspapers.

New Awaydays film coming soon.

Prediction League update

In the Pick the Score competition in the Guardian I had the 4th highest score in the country last week with 21 points. If Jason Roberts had managed to poke his shot over Tim Howard and scored against Everton then I'd have been top with 24 points. But then if Jason Roberts could hit a cow's arse with a banjo Rovers wouldn't be in a relegation dog fight. And maybe he was saving himself for Fulham which was a brilliant result. I'm still some way off the pace in our work league and unlikely to win, but the adrenline rush is fantastic. Marple Leaf reader George Dearsley also claims to be watching and is ready to remind me of my hopeless Premier League predictions here.

John Cleese for you

You get a call, on a Friday afternoon and it's "John Cleese". I thought my pals were past all that spoof phone call stuff, except it really was John Cleese. And he REALLY WAS calling for me. He's speaking at a massive conference in Harrogate in June and wanted to talk about his speech. We had a chat and we've opened a line of dialogue. Fantastic. He was really warm and witty, slightly dismissive of the conventions of PR and marketing and genuinely interested in what the mood of business people in the North of England is.

Another nail in the coffin

These are dark days for local newspapers. The news is here that the Guardian Media Group is closing its regional offices and moving everyone into Spinningfields.

One friend of the Marple Leaf, with extensive experience of the local paper here, the Stockport Express, has this to say.

Another nail in the coffin of local /regional journalism. The phrase: " … Reporters will continue to work their patches, but no longer from a local office …" completely sums up the bean counters' complete lack of understanding of how journalism works.

I think it's a nail in the coffin for the existing model. There has to be a better way, different margins, different priorities, better use of technology, better use of user generated content. Ultra local, rather than regions that people don't relate to. Sites like the Marple UK give a glimpse. Papers like the free Review do too. But it's a far cry from where we've come from.

New U2 album

Most U2 albums, at least since Achtung Baby have been plodders with some stand out tracks (City of Blinding Light, Beautiful Day, Stay). I've yet the find the stand out tracks on No Line On the Horizon.

Those European nights

I was lucky enough to go to Anfield last night to see Liverpool stuff an abject Real Madrid 4-0. Torres and Gerrard were awesome. It was an honour to see them on such blistering form. Now, I've heard all the guff about the magic of the European nights. But when the whole ground sang You'll Never Walk Alone just before the players came out it was a truly moving moment, hairs on the neck twitching and everything. I've been quick to mock the mythology of LFC in the past, the pretension of the flags and the indignation. But you have to hand it the Scousers. I've never felt anything like it at a football match.

I explained the history of European nights at Anfield to one of the boys tonight. And Hillsborough. And Heysel. His questions? Who won? Was it a penalty?

Half a World Away

I've just skimmed through a memoir from a lad who used to fight at the football. This one was a friend of a friend, Bill Routledge, who follows Preston North End. There are loads of lads featured in the book who I used to knock about with in Lancaster, and a few I knew and kept a polite distance from.

The thing is, if you followed football as a teenager in the early 1980s you couldn't escape violence and hooliganism. I was kicked all over a road outside St James' Park Newcastle in 1981, aged 15, I was chased through Ipswich for my Fila top in 1984. I also liked wearing the trainers and sportswear associated with the look of the time (still do). However, my fortune, if you can call it that, was to follow Blackburn Rovers, a team with no reputation at all for football violence. For a brief period I used to lament that fact, as other teams fans would chase us back to Mill Hill station and there were never any "hard lads" of our own to give us safety in numbers. Other fans in Lancaster would laugh at our tiny band of Rovers fans, not just because we missed out on the play offs again, but because Bolton, PNE, City, or whoever had "done" Rovers fans, or simply walked around unopposed.

Beware of what you wish for, however. By the time I'd landed at Manchester University in 1985 and used to just pop up to the odd game, the tables had turned and there was a ready made posse of bullies causing mayhem. Instead of watching as hordes of other fans would threaten and kick me for supporting my team, fans of my team were intimidating the locals in Swindon, Ipswich, Nottingham and Stoke.

Anyway, some of these hooligan books make it all sound like a bit of a laugh, like it was a cartoon version of Robin Hood and his merry men running around with the sherriff's men in pursuit. In my experience it's always been about having the odds stacked in the favour of one side in order to gang up and batter the smaller number. Some of the things I saw were horrible acts of savage bullying.

To be fair, the author of this book makes that point and from everything I've heard about him, he seems like a good bloke these days. The end of the book, reflecting on his "addiction" and his passions, and his regrets, is the most revealing. We all make choices about what kind of life we can lead. I made mine and I dare say it hasn't been as exhilerating as William Routledge's.

Inside the bubble

I wrote this the other day, for a forthcoming guide:

In the last year Manchester’s professional centre of gravity has probably been drawn towards San Carlo where a rich mixture of ladies who lunch, footballers, insolvency experts and celebrities sit cheek by jowl for fish specials and Italian grills. Ask for a booth along the edge if you want to be seen as important.

I was there today with a couple of big hitters from round and about. The food was very, very good - sole, zucchini, spinach and a fresh glass of Pinot Grigio. Even the coffee was sharp.

We didn't get a booth, but those that did included a load of guys from this insolvency firm, just along from them was Bryan Robson and some pals. At the bar was The Plumber holding court with some rough looking blokes, no doubt discussing his latest plan to buy Real Mallorca, inventing a pipe or suing someone. I'm weary of his stories, so I didn't say hello. The place was also full of "ladies who lunch" talking about Abersoch and Barbados. I also overheard someone else making arrangements to take a helicopter down to Cheltenham next week for the racing.

Someone else, a lawyer with a big firm, bragged loudly that only bad businesses are under threat in this recession, and those with "bad finance". An hour later I heard a recurring rumour that his firm was on the brink of administration (not true, as it happens, but what irony).

Is there a recession on, or is this place the last chance saloon?

An evening with Ken Clarke

I went to a very good dinner at Harvey Nichols last night and enjoyed the company of Ken Clarke MP QC etc. The hosts were law firm DLA Piper. I was lucky enough to be sat opposite him and took in his anecdotes about Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair, Peter Mandelson, John Major and his views on all kinds of characters. All unpublishable.

Anyway, his talk will form the basis of my serious business blog on Monday.

But here are a few thoughts to be getting on with.

He quipped that Margaret Thatcher was blessed by having poor quality enemies - Arthur Scargill, Michael Foot, General Galtieri and Neil Kinnock.

He said the media in this country doesn’t really cover policy. Their interest in politics is largely reduced to the level of gossip. Who’s plotting against who for which job, etc.

As a political veteran Clarke says he isn’t interested in sound bites and clever dick remarks that make him look smarter than his opposite number Peter Mandelson, who he has a high regard for. Yes, he’s in a political dog fight, but his biggest criticism of this government’s response to the financial crisis is the readiness to issue a statement of intent, but not the means to deliver the action.

He also said he has to be careful not to be an "irresponsible opposition", which I think his predecessor Alan Duncan was in danger of becoming in his hatred of Labour. A call to nationalise the banks could have dire consequences.

The message that came across is that Clarke is quietly preparing for government. Not for how he’s going to get there, but what needs to happen following a transition to power. He was scornful of the wasted years of the early Blair government, where young and inexperienced ministers arrived in office with no idea of how to drive the Whitehall machine. He didn’t say so, but David Cameron and George Osborne could face the same fate as neither has any real experience of, well, anything meaningful to holding the two highest offices of state.

He thinks Gordon Brown is beyond saving. He's doomed to failure now. His colleagues in the Tory party aren't as sure. And he does believe a hung parliament is still possible.

It was a great dinner too. Fish, chicken and a superb cheese board. As Clarke said - "the best dinner I've ever had in a supermarket canteen."

End of an epoch - Arena magazine closes

It takes us right back to 1986. Upper Brook Street, Manchester.

Aftershave in the fridge, Sapporo beer tins, cashmere & Levis, Paninaro ooh a oooh, chinchilla fur socks, "Hobbes is sh*t it didn’t have mey seyze", 15 minutes of sustained mayhem but not much actual fighting took place, etc. Wearing two jackets, pretending to like hip hop and dance music. Timberlands.

Story is here. Wise comment here.

What a way to run a railway

At Rose Hill station the morning there was a huddle around the ticket office, so I got on the train with the intention of buying a ticket off the guard on the train. He never came round, so I went to look for him. As he did his duties of opening the doors at Woodley station I approached him, tenner in hand, but he just retreated into his cab at the back of the train and slammed the door.

I knocked, he answered. I asked if I could buy a ticket. "No, I'm not well," he said. And slammed the door again.

So I joined the queue of about 30 people at Piccadilly to buy a ticket off the surly (and burly) GFS security guards who make you feel like a criminal.

Boz enjoyed this story.

Navigating a lunch for a hungry family

Our oven has packed in, which is a pain in the backside. It's an Aga and it also heats some of our hot water. I never particularly sought it out, it came with the house, but I have grown to really love it as I've learnt to cook using it. It also dries the clothes, keeps food warm when I'm doing a mega Sunday roast and my timings are all to cock. It's getting fixed, but it's costing a fortune.

I just couldn't face doing another roast dinner on our substitute two ring hob and electric oven, so we ventured into Marple for a Sunday lunch.

First stop, the Ring O' Bells after a dog dirt dodge along the canal towpath. Chef was on holiday.

Next, Dolce Vita. Shut.

Next, The Edge. Couldn't fit us in. Mmmm.

Finally, The Navigation. If I owned a pub and was looking forward to 40 football fans coming in at 3pm for the Wee Wee Cup Final then I doubt I'd be ready for 5 kids under 10 and their hungry parents. Fair play to them, they found us a separate room, fessed up to not having much in and sorted us out with plenty of hearty pub grub.

The future of music

There's been a fair amount of coverage on digital music recently. I must be hopelessly naive, but I thought illegal downloading had been stamped out years ago. I thought we all blithely bought music through iTunes. The naughtiness was limited to copying CDs off your mates and sticking them on the server at work. A 52 year old accountant told me all about file sharing and which sites to go to get free music.

I sat with Steve Purdham at a do the other night. He's working with Peter Gabriel on a new business called We7.com. You log on and you can listen to virtually anything (through your computer), you can create playlists, compilations and collections which adds that social networking element so essential to anything new on the web. You can also buy music to keep, at about the same price as iTunes. The catch is it plays a short advert at the beginning of a track.

Much of the coverage of the last two weeks on this kind of thing has focused on Spotify, which requires you to download a program, but is quite similar, and nodding in the general direction of Last.fm, which I still haven't quite got my head around yet, despite the presence of a window (right) which reveals what I've been listening to (and all the attendant embarrassment that comes with it).

As a business it's a brave move, bringing together two busted industries in a state of paranoia and paralysis - advertising and music.

This would be superb if and when I get round to routing the PC through a decent speaker system, rather than docking the iPod.

My bookmarks this week

Here are some links to good things I've seen this week. Thanks to Words Dept for this handy but simple idea.

Hardeep Singh Koli on The Long Good Friday from the Spectator.

Middlesbrough fans told to be quiet during games - wouldn't happen to Rovers.

Police looking forward to summer of truncheons.

A bad day for my Mum's old next door neighbour.

From 7 to 11

So, dilemma time at the football club. Ludicrously, junior football in this country leaps from 7-a-side to 11-a-side when kids get into Year 6. At our club we have two decent 7-a-side teams, each with squads of 9 or 10. Here's the question, do we try and recruit some more players and run two teams? Or do we create one team with a big squad where some kids may not play as much football?

I'm painfully aware that boys get distracted and have more on when they get to 10. More and more kids play music, drama, other sports, have entrance exams for private schools, have divorced parents with different priorities. Coaches have to be more than just keen fathers, they have to take a course to be an FA Grade 1 coach. The transition will be massive too. Holding the whole thing together is a mammoth task for whoever takes it on.

So far I've only talked to people who are emotionally involved (parents). What does anyone else out there think?

Heroes

It's difficult to know where to start with charity appeals. How do you decide whether one charity is worth supporting and another isn't? I've long admired the work of Warchild, who I first came across with their work in Croatia in 1996. The magazine I edited at the time carried a cover story about their work in Mostar, where they worked at helping both Croat and ethnic Bosniak kids. They are of course well known for their imaginative musical ventures they've inspired. The latest is called Heroes, musically it's very good indeed and as charity appeals go I think the work they do is amazing. Go on buy it, here.

Food fun in Leeds

Yesterday's food review in the Observer saw Jay Rayner venturing north to Piazza by Anthony at the Corn Exchange in Leeds. Coincidentally I was there myself today. It looks amazing. Unfortunately, I didn't get to eat anything more than a croissant and a cup of strong coffee.

Rayner's review was the usual mix of the vaguely patronising and the annoyingly observant. By and large he was right about the atmosphere of the Corn Exchange. It feels empty and in this climate you wonder how it can be filled. There's a cheese shop on the lower floor which has a special temperature controlled section for some serious cheeses, also insulated from the hams and oils at the front of the shop. They needed to, the Yorkshire Blue and the Bishop's Finger nearly knocked me out. My excuse for not buying was it was 11 in the morning and I had a full working day ahead of me. I didn't need any excuse at all to not buy a bottle of balsamic vinegar for £85.

It's got to be worth a visit again though.

The future's Orange

I know this blog is not about work. But there's a link here to a piece I've done in the online Deals section of North West Business Insider. It's about a business run by a bloke called Simon Orange. He was a bit miffed that one recent article about him mentioned (on the front page) that one of his five brothers is Jason Orange from Take That. As you can see, I've studiously avoided mentioning that fact.

Should we be worried?

I only expected to come away from Old Trafford yesterday with the satisfaction that I had the opportunity to take two of my children, my wife and my father-in-law to see Rovers at the Theatre of Dreams. In the end, I also came away with a sense of dignity, pride and searing injustice. It's all been said and done, here, here and here.

It's easy to say that if we play like that we'll be OK, but everyone's scrapping down there now. But I'll say it anyway: We'll be OK.

John Gwynne keeps up

I'm the getting the hang of watching rugby. At Sale Sharks v Bristol the other night I pretty much followed everything. It helped that we were sitting near to legendary commentator John Gwynne (pictured) who has the most incredible voice. He didn't know who scored the second and fourth tries either. But we all knew who got the third one - Nick McLeod (sponsored by Insider).

If you're wondering John who? Then there's more about him, here and here.

BYO Popcorn

Rachel took the boys to Cineworld Stockport today to see BOLT. A good time was had by all.

But here's a thing. While the public have cottoned on how extortionate the popcorn, sweets and drinks are at cinemas the widespread response has been to bring your own. There's a story here. We certainly have done; in fact, it's what Woolworths was good for. There are now signs up everywhere saying there will be random bag searches to stop you bringing in your own food. Clearly cinemas are struggling to make ends meet on ticket sales alone and make up the shortfall by charging so much for a bag of Revels and a tub of pop.

This reflects an inbalance in the economics of the cinema business. Something needs to give here, possibly in the amount studios charge cinemas, therefore in the amount of money actors get paid.

And the film? They all loved it, but they still can't have a dog.

Twitter yee not

Everyone is getting Twitter. Just click on a business case here on Corporate Bubble, a media insider view from David Hepworth and look at an enthusiasts sample courtesy of Ear I am to see what I mean. I haven't the time yet. I can blog small on here too, I don't see the point. Yet.

Just in Edinburgh

We've just come back from a day trip to Edinburgh. What a fantastic city - with, for me, lots of happy memories of August festival weekends, New Year parties and a few good sessions in the bars of Rose Street, The George Hotel bar and the City Cafe in Hunter Square.

Not this time, we took all the kids on the train and hiked around. Our kids don't feel they've had a proper day trip until they've had a run round a park and spent their pocket money on tat. Luckily Edinburgh is good for that, as long as the tat has tartan all over it.

We even did the Royal Mile and saw Holyrood and the Scottish Parliament building before getting the open top bus tour down to Leith and back round again. It's a side of the city I'd not seen before with some great buildings and a sense of grandeur. I just enjoyed being with them all in a place that holds many happy memories.

But I wonder what memories of the day the kids will have? Two of them fell asleep on the bus tour and we were in and out of the Museum of Childhood within 20 minutes. Another was sick on the way there and at least two of them were starving an hour after we had tea.

Johnny Was

I'm sitting here with laptop, bottle of Zentao Amarone 2004, watching Jonathan Ross and seeing Morrissey performing This Charming Man. It reminds me what I really loved about the Smiths, it was this.

If Tommy Cooper were alive today

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'

I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'

I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.

I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.

The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'

I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'

I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'

I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'

A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'

Legion raid is sickening

I am so proud to live in Marple, I love it. But this just makes me weep. There are no words to describe just how sick some people have become.

The long and short of it is that the Legion was raided by violent scum a couple of days after Danny Winter's funeral, presumably knowing the takings would have been high. They battered Al Stonall, the manager, and hacked at him with hammers and a machete.

There are often crimes that provide a turning point in public consciousness. Think of Stephen Lawrence's murder, or the shooting of Jesse James. I hope this becomes one of them. If anyone at all knows anything about who may have been responsible they need to pass that on.

On the phone

By way of adding to my list of gripes about drivers, I have another. Drivers who text or phone while driving. My answerphone message says - "I may be driving" as a way of saying, so I won't be taking your call. It is so dangerous. I don't even do hands free.

Last night it seemed I was caught in the convoy on its way to the shite drivers convention at the end of the A57. One absolute moron was driving a large Range Rover (personalised number plate too - aagh!), when I pulled up alongside the idiot was on the phone. What do you do next? Can you call the police when you get home? Does it matter? Will anything happen?

I've even had an email today from a road traffic lawyer saying the legislation is vague, which it always is when tricky lawyers come up with lame excuses for breaking the law, or shift the burden of proof.

Slow down, it can wait.

Making a stand on memory lane

Just a few days after going to a gig at the Academy I had lunch at the University of Manchester today. I had a happy time there as a student and have been talking about doing a few things with the careers service to point would be journalists in the right direction (accountancy).

It was great to be there again. There was even an occupation of the admin block, which should end tonight as Hamas and the Isrealis call off their war under such pressure.

Student gestures are nothing new. I popped my head around the door of the Whitworth Hall, the glorious room where my graduation took place. I stood in the exact spot where I stood upright during the National Anthem in July 1988, while everyone else on my course resolutely and insolently sat with arms folded.

Glasvegas live - poor show

We went to see Glasvegas at the Academy last night. It was poor. Really, really, really disappointing. The "wall of noise" was just a tuneless din. You can't even blame the poor acoustics in the venue as Friendly Fires were excellent. I think Glasvegas must have a very good studio producer, as the whole arrangement was all to cock. The energy and power on the album (which I love) is as much about the silences as the full throttle feedback and the chugging bass.

It's the first time I've been to a gig at Manchester University since I left in 1988. Maybe I'm just an old git, but I had a flashback to punk gigs circa 1981 when I'd wish the time away as the noise was just so ear-bleedingly awful, but we were too cool to admit it. So, I can say it now: Insurgents, Warsaw, Anti-Pasti, UK Subs, Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Chron-Gen and the Angelic Upstarts. You were rubbish.

Funeral for Danny Winter

Marple lad Danny Winter was laid to rest yesterday, following a service at St Georges Church. The Royal Marine corporal was given full military honours in a service attended by 600 people. He was killed in Helmand province in Afghanistan. Story is here.

ITV is rubbish, in nearly every way possible

Just how rubbish is ITV? We lost our coverage for a few seconds before the goal in the Everton v Liverpool game last night, but we did see Dan Gosling's goal. A lot of people didn't and ITV has had to issue an apology, here. The Mail has the sequence in lurid detail and is calling this Goslingate.

I always think a consumer boycott cleanses the soul. Trouble is, we're running out of options. Rachel fell out with Sky after Louis chalked up a phone bill doing interactive games when he was 4. I had a dispute with NTL (now Virgin) over their inability to deliver a service and their zealous pursuit of a £30 debt by putting debt collectors after me. Setanta just doesn't work at our house. I don't know why, and they tried to put it right, but I've had it with them as well. Which leaves the free to air BBC and ITV.

We have a Thomson Freeview 6300 box which is full of bugs. There are programmes saved which crash the whole thing and can't even be deleted. We get random programmes about the Lottery saved on it which take up hours of disk space. Last night's football highlights didn't record, though I did download something called Microsoft Silverlight to view them. I always feel slightly grubby using Microsoft software and thought, typical ITV, again.

I do like BBC's computer based iPlayer. Very user friendly and very reliable. And I do like channels such as BBC3, Dave and BBC News. And I like Sky Sports News. The kids like Dave and CBBC. And that's about it. ITV's channels are all full of complete crap. Even their weather last night gave no feeling or indication of what the weather was going to be like today. It is the palest of imitations of everything BBC do. No wonder it is collapsing before our very eyes.

But what I really (really) resent is the move to digital TV and the analogue switch off. The technology is too flaky and the service too haphazard.

Snow business

I remember the last snowfall in central London in 1991. The newsreaders lapsed into saying this week's was the heaviest the country has had since then. No, it is the heaviest London has had since then. There is a difference.

Anyway, this is very funny.

New words for new times

I like new modern words and phrases, created for comedic value. The late, great Douglas Adams created a book full in The Meaning of Liff. The rude one from Viz is good too. In that same tradition Charlie Brooker has added some here. My favourite amongst his selection is this:

piersonality (peers-on-allitee) n. Self-consciously odious celebrity who trades on their own widely accepted repugnance to infuriatingly lucrative effect, thereby creating an unassailable feedback loop of violent loathing in absolutely everyone other than themselves; eg: Piers Morgan.

*Dons anorak* visits ground

Shaun Smith compiles a wonderfully eccentric website about football grounds and runs the 100 Football Grounds Club, of which I'm a member (I have a badge on my anorak).

He's just notched up his 200 after a visit to Edgeley Park, home of Stockport County and the egg chasers from Sale Sharks. A charmingly detailed account is here.

I haven't been to a new ground since, er, since, er. No, can't remember. Middlesbrough, maybe? But I'm stuck on 123, as I last counted. Would quite like to go to Hull this season.

Podcasting - highs and (relvative) lows

One of the unexpected joys of the iPod has been the number of entertaining podcasts I'm discovering. I've always liked the Guardian's Football Fiver email. One of the untamed wits behind it is a character called Barry Glendenning. Hearing his gentle Irish brogue on the Football Weekly podcast has been a treat. In the last week or so he and James Richardson were joined by Observer's serious sports columnist Paul Hayward. Hearing Barry describing Man City's courtship of Kaka as "like us inviting Girl's Aloud round for a bath together" was funny enough, but the tangible "eh?" from Hayward was one to behold. I would like to see Hayward get into the groove, but he wasn't poached from The Daily Mail, or the Telegraph, I forget which, to make asides about Rafa Benitez looking like a character from The Simpsons. Which is a shame. I can only see one winner emerge here.

I think podcasts have their own character, often giving an extra added dimension to the media from which it is sourced. A lot of newspapers and magazines do a shabby job. Of my two favourite outlets, there are mixed results.

Monocle's is spot on - Tyler Brule is as archly camp to the ear as he is in the written word, but some of his writers don't translate as well as he does.

I have no doubt that The Word magazine's office is chaotic, but the glossy magazine masks these shortcomings and, in fact, makes a virtue of them by channeling all of that energy into the structure of a monthly mag. Their podcast does not. In fact, it's quite hard to listen to as it just seems to be a bunch of fellahs sat around having a laugh. To be fair, this is an evolving media, it may improve with time, and the participants need to recognise what they are good at, and what they are not.

When a draw feels like a win

Last night's game was absolutely rubbish for the first hour. I don't just mean because we were losing, but because we played the way Bolton play. Hoff, Bosh, Bish, Bash. Awful stuff. And they are better at it than us.

But once Tugay came on we played football. Grella and Eamon Andrews simply can't do that. The last half hour was exciting and we were all over them. We could have (should have) won.

Also just discovered this bloke is a celebrity Rovers fan.

I went with Darren from work last night and it would have cost us £30 as there are discounts galore at the moment. The running total we have therefore chalked up against the purchase is £657.25.

Hacks guide to managing PR people

Some other bloggers out there, him, and him, have been hat tipping and passing on links to stories focused on the relationships between PRs and journalists. Like this one here.

There's also this one here. And this one here about how not to sell a story to a newspaper. And a simple 100 tips for Rubelle Pymley-Bowles and her sushi sisters from Ostentatious PR, from an editor in Bristol who is weighed down by a mere 250 emails a day.

There's often a real piety from journalists on this subject (see above). When you look at it from the other point of view, it's clear there's teeth grinding frustration there too. I tried to find a link to this list of tips for hacks in dealing with PR people, but couldn't find it. So here it is in full. Source unknown, but you can feel a lot of anger here. Comments welcome, but there is a more serious issue of quality control that lies beyond this.

HACKS GUIDE TO MANAGING PRs

1. Always wait until 5pm on Friday to call looking for a quote that "has to be in today". PR people like the adrenaline rush.

2. Always tell the PR person, "I'm sorry, I don't regard you as a good source for a quote. I need to speak to your boss." This is particularly effective with female PR people.

3. Always be rude. PR people misinterpret politeness as lack of urgency.

4. Always call to demand invitations to events for which you've been overlooked. Then don't show up. Remind them who's boss.

5. Accept all invitations to one-on-one interviews. Then, just before you hang up, make a comment that implies you've always wanted to have a real go at the interviewee and you're looking forward to it. PR people hate to feel secure.

6. Always use the same excuse when you miss interviews. PR people will
eventually get the hint.

7. A good interviewing technique is to interrupt the interviewee and say you're not interested in his/her opinions, but only in answers to your specific questions. This keeps the interviewee from gaining control.

8. Never thank the PR people for anything. Gratitude upsets them.

9. Do not make positive comments regarding information provided or skills such as writing, presentation, or running an event. Better to say things like, "Gosh, the [name rival PR agency here] event I went to was really good. We had champagne."

10. Always tell PR people what kind of giveaways you want. If you're sick of T-shirts, don't hesitate to say so. PR people really welcome the feedback.

11. Assume that every journalist is exactly like you, and whatever you want is what they'll all want. Educate PR people accordingly.

12. Refuse to help PR people get to know you via questionnaires or off-deadline phone calls. What happened to good old-fashioned social skills?

13. Always yell as abusively as possible when PR people *in your estimation* fail to deliver what they promised. Accept no excuses: these people are *paid* to serve you. Make sure they know you'll complain to their client companies if they don't shape up.

14. If you haven't been invited to a PR company's most recent press event, call them and shout at them for ignoring you. Make sure they realise how important you are.

15. If you missed a press conference, call the PR company and shout at them for not checking that you'd gotten the invitation. If they did call, shout at them for nagging you.

16. Always demand a free meal as the price of doing an interview with a company executive.

17. Request a special meeting with a client because you share his personal interests. Put the PR people to great trouble getting tickets and other access to sought-after locations. Reconfirm when the PR people call you the day before. Don't show up. When the PR people call to ask what's happened, say you forgot.

18. On press trips, be unpredictable. Miss the plane.

Half The World Away

I've never cut a track in a recording studio. Probably never will again. But I did on Saturday. It was a fabulous experience. Nigel Hughes (Ear I Am) bid for a session at Futureworks at a charity do we went to last year. We wanted to perform the Oasis track Half The World Away, possibly best known as the theme tune to The Royle Family.

I feel we all had a role to play. Nigel was an inspirational bundle of energy. Keen to try new things, eager to stretch us all creatively and ever so slightly bonkers. In deference to the track of choice, let's call him "Noel".

Nigel also (wisely) invited his old pal Des McDonough. He can play, he steadfastly refused to sing. He absolutely nailed the musical arrangements, improvised on the ambient percussion track. He carried the whole thing through. Let's call him "The Edge".

And me. I can't play. I turned up late. I can't sing, but I had a go. I look alright in the photos. As it's his birthday today, then think of me as the "Andrew Ridgeley" of the trio.

There's a link to the pics of us on Flickr here.

There will be an audio file of the recording shortly.

The mystery of the painted lady of Compstall

Ken Sharrocks at the wonderful 4 Corners picture framers in Compstall Mill showed me this slightly creepy picture. A bloke brought it in to be framed 8 years ago, paid up front, said he lived in the village and has never been back. Ken has taken it round the pubs, shown it to people who come in with jobs, but all to no avail. No one has a flicker of recognition as to who the lady is. Please pass this picture on and let's see if this blog can solve the mystery of the painted lady of Compstall.

What recession?

I've been in Jersey today. Still am actually, bored at the airport. Here are ten observations based on a very quick visit. Giving nothing away as to why I was there, because this blog is not about work.

I have never been in a plane that has landed on one wheel before. Bumpy landing doesn't explain the half of it. I was very relieved when I stepped out to feel the strong winds; at least it wasn't a dodgy plane or a drunk pilot.

Jersey Rugby Club and First Tower Football Club have very neat and smart facilities built and financed by Jack Walker.

The main shopping streets are the same as the UK, except for the lack of "everything must go", "beat the crunch" and "closing down" posters. It appears totally untouched by the recession. There was a Woolworths that closed down, but the whole place felt snug and comfortable.

Private banking for people who have made a fortune is clearly still thriving. Private family trust offices and obscure sounding brass plates give that away.

Had lunch in La Campannina restaurant, the fish was fresh and tasty. We were lucky to get a table, as it's quite the destination, but it's not what you know here, clearly. The place was full of eccentric well fed characters.

Curtis Warren is still in jail on Jersey. The papers aren't allowed to report the hearings and the appeals or the charges, but it's been nearly a year now.

The fudge is nice.

The airport is quiet.

I'm bored.

Er, that's about it.

The slumdog billionaires

I really don't know where to start with Man City. I can't work up any righteous indignation about the obscenity of it. Well, I can't can I? Jack Walker decided to splurge a similar proportion of his kid's inheritance on Rovers, and I enjoyed the ride.

But this is interesting from the Telegraph: "A week of buffoonery unparalleled in the history of football." Then read the comments below, a rising tide of anger and frustration. If City really do want to break the establishment, then their supporters are going to have to grow thicker skins than this.

And this is good in the Guardian. "And he [chairman Garry Cook] really did suggest Milan lacked dignity. This would be disingenuous were it being spouted by Ron Manager. Coming from a man whose public credo has hitherto been bowdlerised Nietzsche, it begins to look like a demented form of self-parody."

Then there's this from Ricky Hatton.

History made today

My colleague Margaret wore her Obama shirt to work today. It is a historic day.

The inaugration speech was mesmerising. Inspiring. Stirring. What an orator. No wonder the streets are lined with excited people.

Best bit:

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill.Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

Then this:

We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan.With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet.We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

Video link is here, for posterity, for the kids.

And my goodness how they manage to talk on Sky News.

The Wire: 5 Season - summed in one rap

Superb. There are loads of brilliant Wire links on You Tube. One with a laughter track is ace, especially when, er, you know, thingy gets shot. But beware, this rap is a spoiler.

Marple soldier killed in Afghanistan

Danny Winter, a Royal Marine from Marple has lost his life in Afghanistan. A lovely tribute is here.

Re-reading the Fall Out

Andrew Anthony's Fall Out - How a Guilty Liberal Lost His Innocence is a very important book. It tracks how one liberal journalist has re-appraised a lot of what he thinks as a result of guilt ridden, anti-American default reactions and political positions. On one level he has been criticised as just another lefty drifting rightwards. But I have more respect for him as a writer and as a decent human being to dismiss either his infantile youthful lefty rantings and posturing *blushes* and his innate defence of individual freedoms and of human rights and democracy today.

Indeed, in the Observer this week his account of Salman Rushdie's fatwa is exemplary.

The debates that shape it centred around the hot issue that has dominated our generation; the invasion of Iraq and the response to it. The hatred of Bush's America fed by buffoons like Michael Moore and by those with seemingly greater intellectual ballast - like Noam Chomsky and John Pilger - has polarised opinion and blinded liberal responses to atrocities like 7/7. Well, has it?

In his preface to the paperback edition he refers to the reviews and the criticism the book received and the labelling - neocon, racist, midlife crisis - which mainly came from the very people who had clearly royally got his goat in the first place - Seamus Milne, Decca Aitkenhead and various others based at the Guardian, but also people he'd meet in his circle in London.

He's right of course, the liberal left doesn't have a response to terrorism, human rights abuses by Islamist terrorists. Or about crime and policing. Or racism. Just a knee jerk "yebbut" about America, Israel and "the West" and the police. He's grown weary of it, and so have I.

I've been on a similar journey myself, but have found the liberal left position I've always held as also lacking anything meaningful to say about entrepreneurship and business. I meet many decent, energetic, caring entrepreneurial people who aren't instinctive Tories, who care about the world we live in and respect human rights and justice. Labour policy has tied these people up in knots despite every attempt to speak the language of business. Despite the enormous contribution of ideas and energy that entrepreneurs make to the advancement of civilisation they tend to get parked in a place on a map marked "there be dragons" when it comes to weighing up the good guys and the bad guys. There is a racket called "corporate social responsibility" which utterly misses the point, by the way.

The current economic crisis has once again thrown all of this up in the air. Who hates America with Obama as President? Is socialism making a comeback under Gordon Brown? Is state control of the commanding heights of the economy on the agenda? Is labelling someone "a liberal" or of "the left" relevant at all anymore? Is David Cameron a liberal?

I think it's worth exploring further. Any ideas?

I'm sitting in the railway station

Chinley station has a fascinating history, a large platform, an interchange and a major junction between the Hope Valley line and the route to Stockport in one direction and the Marple loop in the other. Bored yet? I was last night when I was stranded there, freezing my nads off. Anyway, you can brush up on it all here. I got a train home from Sheffield, where I'd been working, and was advised to change at Chinley. The connecting train never arrived. There's a button on the unmanned platform instructing travellers to push for information. It puts you through to a call centre in India. Salim, who was lovely - this is not a rant at Indian call centres by the way, informed me and the one other traveller that the 18:55 had been cancelled due to staff shortages. The next train was 19:55. He even apologised like he meant it.

Here's the point of this. Globalisation and technology has created the means to gather information, but our shambolic infrastructure lacks the ability to deliver it effectively. Or rather, to have the sense to disseminate it. This is the major point of contention with morning and evening commuters. When delays occur no-one on the stations seems to be aware what is happening. What's the point of information that's available to a contact centre in India, but isn't available to the guard on the train that's just dropped us off at an unmanned village station in the peak district on a freezing cold night?

At the time I was cold and not a little angry. If this happens in future I now know where the local Chinese chippy and the local Conservative Club are for sustenance and shelter.

Prince Prat

Everyone has something to say about Prince Harry using the P word. For what it's worth, I think he sounds like an idiot. There has been a lot of guffawing about whether the word is offensive or not. Well, in this country it is. I remember when I lived in Australia a headline on a sports page referring to "the Pakis". It was explained to me that over there it was an affectionate nickname like the Windies, the Indies, the Kiwis and the Poms. No one believes it is a cuddly term in the UK. It is loaded with derision and thrown around as a form of abuse.

Still, it has enormous comic potential and this is very funny.

Amsterdamage

So, we're back from Amsterdam. Great time, pretty much dossing about on the ale for a weekend. It was freezing cold, we ate great food and were well looked after in the Krasnapolsky Hotel. I've been there with work loads of times (a previous life), but this was a great break with pals.

We struggled to buy the kids any presents. Everything was either shaped like a phallus or was a piece of drug paraphenalia. Still, I bought plenty of licquorice home. They love it over there, just as we seem to be making it harder and harder to find. I won't knock out a long blog about what we did in our holidays, but something might occur to me when I wake up a bit.

Off to Amsterdam

We're off to Amsterdam for the weekend, WITHOUT THE CHILDREN! I know, we'll miss them. But we're going with friends and it's going to be great fun. Normal blog service will resume next week. Pip Pip.

Four great things Brits do well

There's a terrific review here of the new film Valkerie, which is about the plot to blow up Hitler during the war. Referring to the "entire battalion" of Brits playing Nazis, Anthony Lane delivers this great line:

Character acting is, of course, one of the four things that the British still do supremely well, the others being soldiering, tailoring, and getting drunk in public, but you can have too much of a good thing, and there were points in “Valkyrie” when I felt that I was watching a slightly outré installment of the Harry Potter series.

Superb. Can you think of any more? Hat tip: David Hepworth.

Remembering David Burns

I probably only met David Burns a dozen times, but I enjoyed each occasion. He was funny, lively, honest and very, very brave.

It was so sad to hear of his death over the weekend; thinking about his family spending their last Christmas with a loving father and husband.

Personally speaking, he was always supportive and encouraging for what we did at Insider. In May he contributed an excellent presentation on the Chill Factore, his latest venture, at our Business of Sport Summit. But before that he also gave me a great deal of advice and guidance on what was needed to make the event a success. He'd been the chief executive of the Football League between 2000 and 2002 and knew his stuff; I wish I'd had the chance to be in a pub quiz team with him.

He came to a lunch at my old school last January as the wine flowed he had us all pledging support for a school trip to his ski slope. He was on great form.

One of our mutual friends spoke to him just before Christmas and said he was in good spirits, describing his medical condition in great detail, but with much humour; also picking apart the organisational shortcomings of healthcare.

When I interviewed him for Insider last year he was very open about his battle with cancer. It was inspiring to hear at the time - though to read it back it's heartbreaking.

He continued to throw himself into his new job at the Chill Factore. He continued to take in plenty of football matches, watching Sheffield Wednesday, Rangers, Altrincham, but anyone really. He lived life to the full.

He was one of the good guys and he leaves many, many friends with happy memories of him.

Soundtrack to life

We let the kids stay up for New year. That's not to say they stayed awake to see in 2009, but some did. They witnessed us dancing to this. Some might think it's embarrassing seeing grown ups covorting around a kitchen jigging about. We don't. It makes us laugh and the kids think it's "our song" now. "My woman of the hearthfire, harbour of my soul".

On the way back from London before Christmas me and Joe were both listing to his playlist on my iPod when Chasing Cars came on. We held a father-son stare for a moment. That'll be our song forever now. "I need your grace, to remind me, to find my own".

Back on the train gang

The winter wonderland that greeted Marple this morning came a week late for our children. And also, it would appear for Northern Rail. I managed to park in the station car park, which was a blessing given what a mess the ice makes of the overflow. The 07:59 was late, which meant the 08:09 was stuck behind it. We all piled on the 07:59 - at about ten past - not knowing what was going to happen, in fact it was announced as the 08:10 by the public address system which isn't in sync.

And the fares have gone up. I await tonight's joys with some trepidation.

Boz seems happy though.

Eaten alive by Sharks

Before Christmas I hosted a lunch for Sale Sharks Rugby Club as a favour. Link to the official report is here. I was terrified that I would commit some kind of gaffe exposing that I knew sod all about rugby, which is true, I really don't. I memorised all the names, positions and nationalities of the players I had to interview on stage. But checked myself; don't get chummy - you don't know them. I worked the room frantically gathering questions from each table - some from other players were cheeky, but I'd allow them to ask the question. Some were a bit technical, so I thought I'd bring the mic to the person asking the question.

And so before I introduced the six giants of rugby for an interactive Q&A session I fessed up. I'm a convert to all of this, I like watching, but like most of the corporate guests I know zip all about your sport, but love the honesty of rugby. Appreciative nods all around.

Then I introduced the players: "Juan Lobbe, Charlie Hodgson, David Tait, Matthew Tait and Mark Cato." Aaaaaggh. I said it. I said "Cato". Credibility gone. Mark Cueto. Pronounced Cwayto. I knew that.

I can only describe it as my John Stapleton moment.

To be fair, they were great sport and answered the questions with good grace. Especially my new best mate Mark Cueto, who has been playing brilliantly since.

New Year Quiz - take the test?

We gave the kids a quiz on New Year's Eve. If you think you can beat their score, then let me know quietly. A great team effort yielded a "gold medal" score!

1 Who does Mr Krupp turn into when he hears fingers snap?
2 Who is Tintin's friend who is a professor?
3 What's the newspaper called in Club Penguin and what day does it come out?
4 What colour puffles are fussy eaters?
5 How many hours does it take to set up the Scalectrix track?
6 What is K in the referee's alphabet?
7 Who's the woman who sings Valerie, and which is the band who did it originally?
8 What's Horrid Henry's club called?
9 Who is Number 6 in Thomas?
10 How did Henry punish the naughty boys who threw stones at him?
11 Who is the new President of the USA?
12 Who is the secretary of Marple Athletic and for a bonus, who are his sons?
13 What is the name of the town in Italy where nice Scottish people sell ice cream
14 Who is the actor who currently plays Doctor Who?
15 Where was our house at Center Parcs?
16 Who is the manager of West Brom?
17 Who was crowned King of the Jungle in 2008?
18 Which three blokes present Top Gear?
19 What's the best pie in Marple as judged at the Food festival?
20 What was Terry Christian's verdict on Dad's Y Factor effort?
21 Who is the Deacon and who is the priest at Holy Spirit?
22 Who's garden are you not to go in to get wayward footballs?
23 What does snow taste like in Gatlantis?
24 What seaside town did we go to for a football tournament?
25 What do they sell on the shops there?
26 Who has the highest points in Match Attax cards 2008?
27 Who are the kids in Mary Poppins?
28 Which city hosted the Olympics in 2008?

That was the year that was

I feel strangely upbeat as the year turns. We've had all the shocks and mishaps to contend with. I've got my money out of Iceland; yes, I kept that quiet. We don't feel in any way complacent about the extent of the horrors that may lie ahead and we certainly aren't smug about it either.

But for the record, for my peace of mind and for posterity, here are the ten thoughts about the year just gone, categorised by the top ten labels on this blog.

Family - our boys are all turning into wonderful young men. Elliot has started primary school, Joe has had a look round his high school and is doing ever so well at his football. Matt has invented the world of Gatlantis, which deserves an entire blog all of its own. Max and Louis have come on so well at school and in how they are growing up. We've mourned my Great Aunt Joan and Great Uncle Doug this year, as well as Rachel's Aunt Kitty in Dublin.

Friends - There never seems to be enough time to see friends, but making the effort to go to London and see John Dixon and his family, to work with Andy Coyne again and to enjoy a brilliant weekend away with the Dimblebys have been real highlights. As was the night out at the Radisson where we brought a few people together, like him and Mrs H.

Marple - There have been some wonderful community events in Marple throughout 2008, the food festival, the Christmas fair and our very own Glastonbury, the mud bath that was the Marple Athletic Junior Football summer tournament.

Manchester - That was a year when Manchester once again stumbled, I fear. The whole exhausting row over transport has set the city back.

Music - In a year when we've been to see Bruce Springsteen and Barry Manilow, we've done little gig going - but I've actually enjoyed seeing Marple rockers A Few Good Men, because they do such a good set and they do it so well. But seeing the Boss was something special. Best album - Elbow's Seldom Seen Kid just shades it over Glasvegas and Paul Weller's 22 Dreams. And I'm still learning to play the acoustic guitar. While I'm on, I did a random top 10 on best cover versions and put Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley at the top. It's not often I'm an early adopter.

Books - I've caught up on the back catalogue of Douglas Coupland and really enjoyed J-Pod. Best non-fiction book of the year was Jim White's You'll Win Nothing With Kids - also enjoyed meeting him at the North West Football Awards.

Namedropping - Our best namedropping story has to be going to a dinner party and having a good laugh with Phil Brown, manager of Hull City and his lively wife Karen. Even that beats the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards and the James Bond premiere.

Blackburn Rovers - there have been precious few highlights this year. I thought last season was pretty poor stuff as well. The Walker Trust haven't been able to sell the club, but seem to have taken more of an interest and reinstated their investment. I hope media interest like this from David Conn has had something to do with this.

Telly - this was the year we discovered The Wire. It was sensational. Quite enjoyed Spooks, Outnumbered and The Apprentice as well. But I have to say the best comment on telly this year came from Gareth McLean on the Media Guardian Podcast - the three most offensive words on the BBC - "starring Julie Graham".

Food - I have continued to search for a quality Manchester dining experience that isn't steak and chips. It's been pretty depressing to be honest. But on the bright side the Marple Food Festival unearthed a fantastic Turkish spread from the Golden Plate. Grenaby Farm won the pie contest, which I judged. Best food at a big do (this 40th) and at a dinner party (this one) were both creations of Martin Jones of With a Twist Catering. Delightful.

Some random book reviews

I've finished a few books I had on the go. In the usual fashion, here are some short reviews, told as if explaining in a lift.

Andrew Mueller - You Wouldn't Start From Here - Australian music journalist travels to trouble spots around the world (Iraq, Northern Ireland, Israel and Kosovo etc) and finds most people to be kind and decent, but encounters a few nutters and idiots. Quite amusing. 7/10.

Richard Carman - Johnny Marr - unofficial biog of Smiths guitar hero. Skipped large swathes of this hard going cuttings job, but found the later bits about The The, Electronic and Bert Jansch sufficiently intriguing to go and root out a few old tunes. 4/10.

Jeff Winter - Who's the B*****d in the Black - referee memoir. Starts off like staple hoolie-porn, he used to be a Middlesbrough boot boy, then tells his career story and settles a few scores. Completely deluded about the importance of referees. 2/10.

Football predictions - so far

At the start of the season I predicted this league table for the end of the season. Here's how I'm doing so far.

Chelsea (wrong)
Man U (rightish)
Liverpool (wrong)
Arsenal (right)
Villa (right)
Spurs (wrong, by a mile)
Portsmouth (rightish, but falling like a stone)
Man City (wrong, by a mile)
Middlesbrough (wrong, by a mile)
Everton (wrong)
Rovers (wrong, by a mile)
Newcastle (wrong)
West Brom (wrong, by a mile)
Sunderland (rightish)
Wigan (wrong, by a mile)
West Ham (rightish)
Fulham (wrong, by a mile)
Bolton (wrong)
Hull (wrong, by a mile)
Stoke (rightish)

As you can see, my punditry is pretty poor this time round. But the middle of the table will sort itself out. Stoke will combust.

How did that happen?

Two texts straight after the Rovers v Man City game said it all. One, from a City fan who was at the game: "Sometimes a draw feels like a win". Another from a Rovers fan on holiday in Istanbul: "When a draw feels like a loss."

How did that happen? We were superb for 93 minutes. They scored in the 94th. A good ten minute opening spell when both teams looked up for a good game, then a lot of dross, but there was only ever one team likely to win. Us. Emerton was brilliant, Tugay was at his very best, Andrews was, well let's not get carried away but he didn't make any mistakes. Up front McCarthy and Roberts were holding it up well, flicking intelligently and causing City all manner of problems. Robinho was bullied by Warnock. 2-0 would have been a fair result. I can't explain and I just don't understand what happened. I took a City fan with us who could only offer an apology. Report from the BBC is here.

Anyway, the running total on the season tickets. Joe and Louis came to this one, plus two adults would have cost £55.70, I forgot to add the Liverpool game which Rachel went to with three boys and would have cost us £117, with booking fees. The Stoke game would have cost £63.55, as Steven came with his friend's son Anil. So by reckoning that makes the running total £627.25. We'll probably have got our value with three more games.

Merry Christmas

A very merry Christmas to everyone.

We're having a wonderful day, Grandma Eamon and Grandma Margaret are here. My Mum's best pal Sally Unsworth, who lives in Cyprus, has just popped in to say hello with her son James who I grew up with - more like a cousin than a pal. Lovely to see them both.

Me and Joe went to London yesterday to potter around with Joe's Godparents Rachel and John Dixon. It was also a chance to hang out with their beautiful children Ruth and Michael.

It's a great time of year and the kids are so excited, especially as we're tracking Santa, courtesy of NASA. See for yourself, here.

Squatters evicted

Sam Allardyce knows what he's doing. Nigel Winterburn and Robbie Fowler were two old pals of Ince who served no purpose. Bye.

Joan Lancaster RIP

It was a sad start to the Christmas period today. We held a service and cremation at Macclesfield Crematorium for my Aunt Joan Lancaster, who died last week aged 87. She was a lovely, lively and bright lady who my Mum was very close to. Her husband of 60 years, Doug, died in September. She had, as they say, a good innings, but it was a very sad day for us all. Doug and Joan were great dancers. Her signature tune was Misty, which was played at the end of the service

Top boy

Back in the day a group of lads used to come to the odd Rovers match and start fights. They called themselves a name which was overtly fascist and were led by one particular bloke (Blackburn's "top boy") with a semi mythical reputation as a local hard man - a Lancashire Keyser Sose. This particular bloke, who I'm not going to name as I don't want to attract that sort of internet traffic, was in the News of the World a couple of weeks ago. Link here. Nice.

We've got our Rovers back

Smiling at the Rovers again. All that optimism was well founded as we won 3-0 against Stoke City. The players seemed to play with a lot of belief and were much better organised. Those smug sofa dwellers at Match of the Day even acknowledged a positive contribution from Eamon Andrews. I thought David Dunn was quality yesterday, a vice-skipper's performance. Still unsure about Robinson. He's a decent shot stopper, but is hopeless at judging crosses. Another bright spot was Benni McCarthy - I think he's an exciting and gifted player. He can score some awesome goals, and is capable of creating something out of nothing. Allardyce seems to have staked our future on him getting back to his best.

It was interesting listening to Dunny on Radio Rovers after the match. His apology to Sam Allardyce two years ago, when he snubbed him at Bolton to come to Rovers again, was probably the smartest phone call he ever made.

Before the game I popped the Marple Leaf flag over the front of the upper tier for all of two minutes before the chief steward came towards us following orders to prevent any obscuring of the full stop of Walker Steel. I spotted him before he spotted me and then confused him by removing it completely. I'd love it if we had a spot to but banners and flags, like the Europeans and Man Yoo seem to accomodate.

Also, the badge seller outside was moved on by Ken Beamish. I always wondered what his job was at Rovers. Now we know.

Pictured are Anil, Sean, Joe, Big Sam, Louis and me. All smiles, all happy. We've got our Rovers back.

Corporate Bubble

Phil Jones has got his momentum back with an excellent blog - The Corporate Bubble. I've added a link on the "my neck of the woods - local" panel. This now includes a few cheery business people from Manchester, a Marxist professor, some young arty types, my oldest son, some journos and a commuting cat.

I like all these blogs and visit them regularly. I take off links if the blog becomes dormant - say, less than a month without a post.

Ten thoughts on what's been going on at Rovers

I haven't been excited about going to see the Rovers this season - each game I've been to I've expected us to lose, and we did. Today we play Stoke and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure the game won't be pretty, but direct attacking football has its excitement as well.

I said all along that Ince was out of his depth, after initially being excited for about a day. The signing of Keith Andrews from MK Dons and Robbie Fowler from the St Helens Housing Association B Team were always going to define his performance. They did. Rubbish. And the best heckle on the subject came from Roland Horridge in the front row of the Jack Walker stand: "Ince, you'd have been better off buying Eamon Andrews".

The "football people" lining up to condemn Rovers chairman John Williams for sacking him after less than six months make me laugh. Of course Tony Adams and Tony Pulis were happy to see Ince at Rovers, six easy points, eh lads.

My source in all of this told me that back in June Sam Allardyce was told at his interview that Ince had been offered the job, but there was a problem with his coaching badges. That's when he pulled out of the process. There were other trustees who were violently opposed to Sam, but now see the folly of their ways.

I cost Sam Allardyce a boozy lunch last week. He was going to be coming to our lads Christmas do we hold every year, but as a Rovers director was also going to be there, as well as a football agent, a sports lawyer, the Blackburn Rovers "shadow cabinet" and a pesky scribe (me), he wanted to avoid an awkward moment and asked for Sam to be disinvited. Next year, maybe?

Oliver Holt in the Mirror has tried to make the hounding of Ince by Rovers fans a race thing. Absolute baloney. Race had nothing to do with fans wanting him out. But had a lot to do with him being appointed.

Tip for any player, manager or person associated with my football club. We're "Rovers" not "Blackburn". You might think I'm splitting hairs, but there's an important distinction.

Tip for any football club choosing a manager. Ask who the backroom team will be. Mark Hughes had a superb unit at Rovers. Ince had a rag bag of old mates and has beens (Nigel Bloody Winterburn for sooths sake). Sam Allardyce at Bolton embraced peak performance - look where it got them. Bring Mike Finnigan back to Ewood, I say.

Poor old Santa Cruz. Damned if he stays, damned if he doesn't. James Richardson on the podcast says he hasn't been the same since his commitment to Rovers was described as "lacking ambition". He's in the papers and on Sky today talking broken biscuits. Give it another season, son.

So come on, get behind the team and let's get three points in bag to warm us up for Christmas.

Other People's Annoying Children

Went to the Christmas concert at the Bridgwater Hall last night. A Roger Cashman type family were sat in front of us. His youngest daughter hooted like a red Indian at the end of every song and waved her arms around at every opportunity. All with her parents encouragement. What a pain in the backside.

I'm sure we must have the same effect on people who see our unruly rabble, but I thought that was well out of order.

Strutting for cancer care

My pal Ruth Shearn has done her bit for Marie Curie Cancer Care by doing a catwalk modelling performance alongside Harry Craig, Daniel's little brother. Trumps by Bond namedropping. Please support her. The link is here.

Sam is the man

I think he can scrap us out of this. Might not be pretty.

BBC News story here. Official site here.

Who's the Guvnor now?

This is good, from today's Fiver:

That's only one of the reasons for which Paul Ince is entitled to be sickened today. Another is that being sacked just before a home game against Stoke is a bit like the alarm clock going off just as you're about to compose the sheet music for your duet with Beyonce. And another is that, while he may have lost over half his 21 matches in charge, the sales of David Bentley and Brad Friedel and the injuries to Steven Reid and David Dunn meant Ince also lost almost all his top players. The Guv'nor was presumably looking forward to filling the holes in his squad in January. Indeed, he had perhaps already supplied the board with the names of his transfer targets. And it's not as if those names probably included a lower league journeyman, an England has-been and a portly property developer who looks like he'd struggle to finish a paper round let alone a Premier League match. Isn't that right Keith Andrews, Paul Robinson and Robbie Fowler?

Names doing the rounds - Sven, Allardyce, Laudrup, that Spanish bloke from Swansea, Coyle. I saw Souness yesterday afternoon at San Carlo restaurant. The Rovers board were meeting last night at the Lowry, about two minutes away. Sam Allardyce wasn't returning phone calls to a mate of ours today. I think he's our man.

Ince sacked

...and good riddance. Take your rag bag team with you. I'd laugh if it was Owen Coyle who replaced him, but think it's going to be Souness and Tugay until the end of the season.

Sports Personality of the Year Awards - what I should have said, could have said

Had a great night last night at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards at the Echo Arena. I went as a corporate guest and managed to avoid speaking to John Prescott who was also in our party.

You've seen the awards on TV so you don't need me to run through all of that. It also really worked as a live spectacle for the 9000 punters. What was so impressive was the detail. Every seat was filled even if the ticket holder - named - didn't show, as was the case with Garry Cook, the chairman of Man City. I was sat just behind Prescott and Brave Kirsty Howard, and across from Brian Barwick of the FA and Andy Murray's mother. The Man United 1968 team were just to my right.

That moment when Jack Charlton came out was priceless. The ovation from the audience for Sir Bobby was lovely. And it was nice he thanked Liverpool. A class act.

I thought my pass might get me into some aftershow party for fellow corporate liggers, but was happy to find we were mingling with all kinds of sports stars I was far too shy to go up and speak to.

I've since thought of a ten questions I could have asked if I'd been the kind of nerdy pest that most other corporate liggers were turning into by the time I left at 10.30pm.

Ian Rush: Are you going to get as pissed as you did at the North West Football Awards?

Brian Kidd: You must be pleased Paul Ince is now going to replace you as the worst manager in Rovers' history?

Mike Newell: How come you got to sit next to Paula Radcliffe, in front of Lewis Hamilton and behind the director general of the BBC? Did Alan Shearer get you a ticket?

Lewis Hamilton: Do you realise you might have won if you paid your UK tax?

All the cyclists: Do you realise you've saved cycling from the clutches of the druggies?

Martin Bayfield: My mate John Fowler got mistaken for you once, by Ryan Giggs and his mates, how does that make you feel?

Bill Beaumont: Ince, rubbish isn't he?

Ricky Hatton: Do you want a lift home?

Chris Eubank's kids: Why don't you dress smartly, like your Dad? On second thoughts, don't answer that.

Denise Lewis: Do you remember we met at a drinks party at my pal Ross Biddescombe's flat
about 10 years ago?

Elliot and Matt in their nativity plays

Elliot was Joseph in the school nativity play. He did ever so well. Lovely performance by all the kids. Matt was a King in his - another magnificent performance.

Go Ince Go

I had a pang of sickness in my stomach seeing Paul Ince on the news tonight. I can't believe he is still our manager. I want him out as quickly as possible. Tomorrow will do. Bizarrely, I think we can get something at Wigan. We've still got a decent side with good players. The manager doesn't have a clue, and his backroom team is a shambles.

PS - This piece here claims all sort of inside info on the split board at Rovers. Well, I was with one board member on Wednesday who didn't even go. He went shooting instead.

The blunder of Woolies

My Grandad worked in Woolworths when he came out of the army after the war. He rose through the ranks and managed stores. They were proud places, back in the day. The greatest tragedy is that this wave of nostalgia - signifying some kind of affection for the brand - has not been tapped into by the recent management.

Time for Plan B

I don't take any pleasure at all in being completely correct about the result for the Manchester transport referendum. I just feel weary and slightly depressed about the utter waste of energy and effort.

All previous rants on the subject are here.

Ten nil, and as resounding as it was, is a savage result that must be hard for the Yes people to swallow. They fought an imaginative campaign at times, but even the mendacious way in which the arguments were pitched as facts worked against a proposal that was based on a leap of faith. They were utterly doomed. This is not a time for trust.

As I said on BBC Radio Manchester last night, I was looking forward to drawing a line under this process. I think it was wrong from the outset to concede to a government proposal to consider congestion charging. The need for Britain's most important regional city to have better trams and trains is uncontestable, a charge is too big a pill to swallow.

Stockport's pugnacious leader, Councillor Dave Goddard, said the money is still there if the right plan is put forward. SHB says it isn't. Actually he said, in response to a question about whether the money was still there: "What the f*ck do you think?"

Susan Williams, Conservative leader of Trafford Council, had it right here: "There is always a plan B and we must all regroup next week and call on the government to give us the money if they're indeed serious about the growth of cities."

Could it be music?

Glasvegas played the Academy last night. They did a blistering 40 minute set in a small sweaty venue where the crowed bayed for more. Energy, raw action and ceaseless passion. Sounds brilliant. Sorry. Brullyant.

Except I didn't go. If I had gone I would probably have been one of the ten oldest people there.

Instead I was at the MEN Arena watching Barry Manilow. He did a emotional 1 hour and 40 minute set where the crowd screamed for Could it be Magic which he only teased them with. The arena was also quite warm. I can only put this down to the radiation generated by hot flushes from the women-of-a-certain-age who packed the place. I was definitely in the younger quartile of the audience.

TIF referendum, the winner is...

Apathy. Scepticism. Ignorance. With a very poor turnout - less than 50 per cent in any borough - even less in Manchester, the winner of this expensive and energy sapping exercise is looking like a "No" vote, but on a very low turnout. In Stockport the votes received add up to 89,432 so far, from an electorate of 216,973. A turnout so far of 41.2% is above the regional average of 38.2%.

David Ottewell is good on his blog here:

The three are mutually re-enforcing. Scepticism leads to ignorance and apathy (people who don't trust the system don't find out what's going on, or don't care). Ignorance leads to scepticism and apathy (people who don't understand the system don't trust the system, and so don't care). Apathy leads to scepticism and ignorance (if you don't care, you don't bother to learn or trust).

I have maintained all along that this plan has been doomed from the moment it went to a ballot. People are confused by the mixed messages about a plan, based on a deal, hinged on trust. They don't get it. The words I've heard which nail this thing are: "Well they say that now" about any aspect of the train service improvements, the rate of the congestion charge, the time of it, the place where it is levied. Everything you care to mention. The trigger to introduce road charging will be when 80% of public transport improvements are in place. Within that figure is 100% of all bus improvements. The easy stuff. So that means, as little as 60% of train and tram improvements.

Cryptically, Stockport Council believe there are more twists and turns to come.

After residents’ votes are counted, Leaders of the ten councils in Greater Manchester will meet on December 19 to discuss the next stage of transport changes for Greater Manchester.

I can't help but think that the AGMA leaders (SHB, in reality) will go to the Transport Secretary and say, hey Geoff, we tried. We put our reputations on the line, we thought long and hard about this, we campaigned like mad, we did everything. Come on, let us have some of the money. The public won't buy road charging if you ask them. Not in this climate. Come on Geoff, what do you reckon?

Best of lists

I do like lists at the end of the year, especially when they reaffirm what I like. Usually they don't. I will sometimes see a book or a music list in some achingly hip publication that contains nothing at all that I own, or have experienced.

Imgaine my surprise when opening this month's Observer Music Monthly and seeing their Top 50 picks of 2008. I haven't heard anything by Bon Iver, who they name as the best album of the year, but maybe I should. Amadou and Mariam has also passed me by.

The rest of the top 5 however is Elbow, Glasvegas and Kings of Leon. Also in the top 50 are Sigur Ros and Paul Weller's 22 Dreams. I'm not in the slightest bit concerened whether this makes me hip or not. It can't can it? But it's all good for the spirit of adventure. I blame the iPod.

And if there's a better music writer than Garry Mulholland I've yet to read him, or her.

Winter wonderland

This is usually the point where I report on how our lovely family spent a beautiful wintery day in Marple for the Christmas market - another wonderful community event. We certainly went and it definitely is a glorious day. But don't kids wear you out? I want I want I want.

Rachel has taken a couple of them to Rovers - with a mate - I'm moderating the bickering with those who remain.

Apparently it was decided to host the Marple and the Marple Bridge Christmas events on the same day. Not sure that was such a good idea. Could have had twice the fun next week, as opposed to half the fun this.

The tactical genius of Paul Ince

Check this out here.

Another rant from me about TIF

Is here.

Revealed: Who is to blame for Rovers slump

Who is to blame for the FACT that Blackburn Rovers are second to bottom of the league without a win in ten games?

Paul Ince is clear. It's the critics. The "out of order" critics. Maybe they should stop printing the league table. Or maybe it's "them critics" - like this one - what is picking a midfield of Keith Andrews and Aaron Mokeona. Oh dear, the paranoia of a cornered man.

There's another word for "critics" it's "fans". And they ain't happy either. The supporters forum is fizzing with anger.

Then there's this, from Alan Nixon in the Mirror: the Walker Trustees have realised they won't get £50m.

A Man with Two Cows returns

I've updated my corporate finance blog this week. It's about the future of private equity. Apologies to anyone who has nodded off already. If you're interested it is here.

Marple grinds to a halt

It was only a bit of snow this morning, but the whole of Marple came to a standstill, maybe it's because we sit at the top of the hill. The trains weren't coping very well either. I sense a rising tide of anger over the whole TIF thing in Marple. There isn't anything in it for us, seems to be held in common consent.

Like this comment I got from a prominent Marple bod this morning:

1 cm of snow and the entire Marple road system gridlocked. Congestion charge proposals for cycle lanes, bus lanes, potted plants on Rose Hill station platform but nothing at all about road improvements and they expect us to vote "Yes" - what planet are these people living on?